It's on the way.

Christmas is coming. I'm feeling the holiday spirit full throttle now. Kate and I started listening to Christmas music yesterday in the hopes of inspiring me to get our holiday cards done.
It was successful, well partially. I've got an idea, an image, a project, in my head. I took the first rough layout shots today. I'm hoping it will work, I love being able to take something out of my brain and make it real.

I also got a chance to play on some train tracks today while Kate was in school.



Look for another one of these shots on the other blog tomorrow. But tonight go there and see my new friend Amanda's awesome work.
Seeking out inspiration, every where I go. Where do you look for your inspiration?

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Sigh of relief

I spent the last 40 hours thinking that Thanksgiving was this Thursday.
Yeah, as in four days away.

I had dreams last night. Dreams where I was buying canned peas (GAG) and serving frozen pizza for the holiday. I woke up sweating and vowing to not sleep again until I was caught up
and ready for the big day.
It was a very traumatic. There might have been tears.
Part of the holidays that I love the most is the baking, the cooking, the slaving. All to make something delicious for my guests to devour. In the past years, I've gotten pretty good at it.

While paying bills just a moment ago (I think we can all agree that is a nightmare itself), I finally looked at a calender and low and behold....

Thanksgiving is NOT this week.

Fall to my knees, shout hallelujah, and this year I'll be giving thanks that I had another week and there will not be a can of peas in sight.

ahhhhhhh.........

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Watch your mouth

I have a confession to make. This will not be news to those of you that know me in real life. Well, and really for the long time readers, this won't come as a shock either.
I have a sharp tongue. Like, really sharp.
I get short tempered and my words aren't always the nicest. I do watch my curse words around Kate but if she's not around the f-bomb abounds.
I'm especially guilty of this with Scott.
From the very beginning, Scott has had a knack for asking me questions at the worst possible time. Scott's life gift is his ability to find the five minutes that I can't be interrupted in a day and ask me ridiculous questions during that time. We joke about it often.
All the joking aside, when he does this I often get short and snap at him. Lately, I've been saying thinks like
"Why don't you just not worry about it?"
or
"It doesn't affect you, I'll deal with it how I see fit."

Tonight, I got a healthy reminder that I need to watch what I say. For one, Scott doesn't deserve for me to talk to him that way. For another when I hear Kate say "Daddy, why don't you just not worry about it." it breaks my heart.

She said those exact words to Scott tonight as she and I were cleaning up toys before going to bed. I immediately corrected her behavior, made her apologize and told her to go up to bed (we were headed there anyways). What I wanted to do was send myself to bed.
She got those words from me. She got that attitude, that please don't bother me, I know better than you, attitude from me. And that sucks. It sucks big time.

Lesson learned.


Here's a photo for Grammy and Papa. They've been traveling since Friday and I was instructed to provide a photo of Baby K's precious face having left them stranded with yesterdays post.

Drive safe coming home tomorrow. Give Uncle Jeffie and Aunt Bethie many, many hugs from us all.

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Polka dots and stripes?

My girl has mad style skills.
She's not afraid to go out and do what she wants to do.
Blaze trails, be her own person.

My girl just rocks it.

I love that about her.


I work really hard everyday to make sure she has the confidence she needs to pave her own road in this world. I know I've made mistakes (every parent does it's our given right) and I know that the mistakes I've made have made both she and I stronger.

When I see my RockStar at parties like I did today, I'm so immensely proud of her. She really is an amazing child. Even if she likes stripes and polka dots together.


*This outfit was not from today. These were taken on Thursday. Today's outfit included her pink sparkle tutu because "Princesses wear tutus to parties, Mom."*

Thanks to the S12 family for welcoming us to join in Brandon's 2nd birthday celebration. Sorry our visit ended so abruptly. We feel horribly that we didn't get in proper goodbyes with everyone. We had a wonderful time.

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Restored

Most of what I have to say tonight I said here.

Having this afternoon with my uncle, sharing with him, talking with him, having Starbucks with him, introducing him to people that matter to me, did amazing things to refuel my heart. The dinner with the family afterwards, topped off my tank.

Once again feeling like I can handle it all. I can't handle it alone, but I know that I'll never be alone. It's going to be alright.

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An open letter to Steve Jobs

Hey Steve, (you don't mind if I call you Steve, right?)

I need some help. You and your Apple team are the fantastic inventors of the Ipod. You've done a bang up job. I can carry around massive amount of music in my purse. I've got movies loaded and ready to go to keep my 3 year old from losing her shit at the end of a long day. In general I find your Ipod creation to be a fantastic, wonderful, life changing invention.

You see, Steve, I'm a little nutty about my music. I have very vast tastes and my Ipod is loaded with everything from Brittany Spears to Credence Clearwater Revival to Tone Loc and Frank Sinatra. I couldn't possibly pick just one genre to listen to. I find I can't even listen to the radio anymore between the commercials and the deejays cutting off the beginnings and endings of all the songs, I get a little nutty if forced to travel with out my handy dandy Ipod.

I have a new invention idea for you and your minion. I need your guys (and gals) to invent an Ipod that will only play what I NEED to hear. It can't play what I think I want to hear, only what I need to hear.
Maybe some breathalyzer or finger print scan. Maybe it's a quiz that determines mood. I'm not really sure, you guys can work on that. But the Ipod Beez (like the product name? It's a version of my childhood nickname. You don't mind do you Steve-O?)

Today instead of this

and this


It would have played a little of this

or maybe this


While I love the first two songs, they wrap me up like a warm sweater. Pulling me tighter and tighter until I can't breathe anymore.
When I need to let go and chase away the funk, I need you to save me from myself and only play songs like the last two. Forcing me out of the funk, making me dance, and leave my worries behind.

Thanks for taking my idea and making it work Stevie. You're the bestest BFF (best friend forever) a girl could ask for. I can't wait until the product launch. Oh and if you could work it out so Leo DiCaprio does the ads that would be great.
I'll limit my royalties to 2% of all sales.

XOXO Stevie Baby,

The Beez

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Hello spring?

My body is confused and well, so is my brain, but that's nothing new.

First, this weekend we had daylight savings time. I'm gaining an hour but my early rising child doesn't realize that 7am is the new 6am.
Second, it's gorgeous here. Like seriously. 70 degrees, soft breeze, clear skies, going to have to force me to go inside, kind of beautiful.
Just when I'm thinking it's spring, I see this sign.

Now I'm really messed up.

How is it possible that this late in November I am able to take my child (in short sleeves none the less) and my husband that requires 72degree temps at all times out to the park?

A welcomed respite. Certainly helping to ease the funk that's been lurking around the corners.

Manging to get Scott's flu shot and haircut taking care of before hand was a small miracle.
It's not often that Scott can handle this much activity. This glorious weather provided the perfect setting to make it all possible.
It's almost like the universe knew I needed it. Like this day was just for me. A day to remind me of what I'm fighting for everyday. A reason to keep going and embrace what ever life throws at me.

A beautiful gift, much like my beautiful girl. Something so perfect, so overwhelmingly wonderful that you're almost afraid to believe it's true.

She is smart, funny, empathetic and she's healthy. She's also sassy, stubborn and independent but I won't ruin this love fest with those thoughts.
It's ok for me to take a break, kick back and just enjoy the moment.

Letting life move forward without me pushing it.

It's so easy to get bogged down. When everything is such a struggle, when my body is bruised from carrying Scott, when my soul is battered by the reality of the future. It's easy to slink into a hole and stay there.
I've been reminded that my bruises will heal, my heart will continue to love and I can move on.

Enjoying the journey for what it is. Because of it, I am who I am.

And I'm someone that hates this stupid garbage can for ruining my photo.

That's life.

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