Gizmo

Ever have a day that somewhere in the middle of it you find yourself thinking "this is easily in the top ten, worst days to date?". Well, today was one of those days for me. One of the many (many) reasons for that - our family cat Gizmo was unexpectedly put to sleep this afternoon. Thirteen years ago while visiting my Grandpa Jake, we feel in love with the cute, long whiskered, black and white kitty and drove her the six hours home to live with us. Gizzy went through a brat cat phase, a fat cat phase and in the more recent years, as us kids moved in and out of my parents house, Gizmo became my moms girl. If Mom was gone Gizmo would sit at the top of the stairs by the front door and howl for hours. Even under strained situations, like after my parents house fire when my parents, my brothers, my sister-in-law, and three cats came to live with Scott, Kate, our two cats and I, Gizmo was the best behaved of the bunch. She settled right in and acted like a true princess. My parents had Kate today while I was out of town. She was with them at the vet when they got the bad news. Not being able to control the way Kate was told broke me. Her concept of death, the way she relates to it and balances it, is something I'm very protective of. There is, in my opinion, a right way and a wrong way to help a child understand the concept of death. I've found the way that seems to be working for Kate. Not being there... Hell. Pure hell. Even though I knew Kate was with the two people that love her almost as much as I do, it just wasn't enough. I know we're going to have some rough days ahead as Kate once again struggles to figure out death. As she realizes that yet another "family" member won't come home again. I wish I could take this away for her. I wish my almost fiv year old didn't understand so much. She never ceases to amaze me though. As we "talked to Scott" tonight, she told him "I was really sad Daddy. I was crying and crying. Then I think, maybe with Gizmo with you in heaven you won't miss us so much." I love her. We'll miss you Gizzy. I'm sure Scott's already scratching your ears. I took this picture just two weeks ago while decorating Easter eggs. It's a horrible picture but I had to share her furry face.