Showing posts with label drama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label drama. Show all posts

I get by with

a little help from my friends.


Kate and I had a little playdate with the Adam and Ryan today so Alli could get a little break from life's responsibilities.

We all need them. A chance to escape whatever is going on in our lives, even if the escape is only for an hour.

A friend has to see when their friend is in need of a break. Has to listen to their cries or if you're friends with me read their rants (I am a strong believer in the text message for those that don't know me in the real world).

The kids played and shared. Working together and having fun. Kate played "mama" and kept everyone following the rules.

She continues to amaze me. Everyday this little wonderful face surprises me with something. In between making herself a princess using her magic wands (her thumbs) she managed to help me in a mini-crisis.

Getting Scott out of bed this afternoon his leg (the bad one) spontaneously and with flourish, started bleeding. I'm not talking "oops got the bandages a little bloody". I'm talking "holly hell, I'm bleeding through ABD's, gauze wrap, ace bandages and ruining the cream colored floor.
I exhausted our rather extensive closet of medical supplies getting it to stop. A little time, lots of pressure and lots of gauze, got things under control.
Not wanting to leave Scott unattended but needing to restock some basics, I called in a friend. Well texted in a friend, really. Anyway, Scott L (aka S12) was happy to run to CVS (Sorry Nicole, Walgreens is farther away) and get us restocked.

During this entire event, Kate was unfazed. She just wanted to put on gloves and help.

In lots of ways, I feel so overwhelmed, under prepared, exhausted, stressed and ready to lose it. But in so many other ways, I feel blessed, grateful and so thankful.

And as I proof reading this post and getting ready to hit send. I was absentmindedly chewing on a straw and broke off my temporary crown on my tooth. If you'll all excuse me, I'm going to go beat my head into the wall. For fucks sake.

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Where the heart is

All three Witt's are home again.
Kate and Scott spent the night playing blocks, PBSkids.org, sharing cupcakes and enjoying dinner together. Listening to them talk and share in Scott's room reinforced my decision to bring Scott home.
In the end, we left against medical advice but with no hard feelings. The doctors acknowledged our need to not spend 4 more days in the hospital and wished us well.
My grandma (you all know her as Grams) has a dear friend that is an infection disease specialist. He was at Baylor Medical Center for years prior to starting his own medical school in Botswana. I was able to speak with him this morning. He graciously took time off from his coffee and crosswords over looking the ocean to speak with me. After giving me the straight talk on what is really going on, he agreed with all of my thoughts and encouraged me to follow my heart and do the right thing for my family. Having Scott in the hospital for a problem that we cannot cure, just doesn't make sense. I'm feeling confident in the decisions made and yet I can't get the ball of jumbled emotions to leave me. It all seems to be balled up in my throat.


Tomorrow night, as we move into a new year, I'm going to snuggle up and hold hands with the future. I'm going to leave the past behind and embrace all that is ahead.
Tonight, I'm going to wallow a little bit longer.

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AMA

AMA - against medical advice

Scott waited all day yesterday to get an MRI. An MRI that was ordered about an hour after he was admitted on Tuesday. It was supposed to be 3pm then 9pm then 930pm and finally last night at 1130 we heard "not going to happen."
I wasn't there at 1130pm to hear what stupid, no-reason, lame excuse he was given. But I know he went to bed frustrated, tired and angry.

The only reason I agreed to Scott's admittance was because we were assured that it would provide us the fast track to getting answers. So far no fast track, no answers and all it's done is take Scott away from his family, create more stress than necessary, open Scott up to other potential infections and generate more fees to a hospital that has already been paid over 3.2million dollars on Scott's behalf.

As you can read, I'm beyond frustrated. For the first time ever in dealing with Rush I'm going to go downtown today and either get a MRI, answers and a treatment plan or bring Scott home, against medical advice.
I like all the doctors involved. I don't think anyone of them is neglectful in anyway. I think there have been layoffs and understaffing and it's creating major problems. At this point I could have gotten all these tests done outpatient faster and Scott would be home.
Everyone (hospital staff) is missing the fact that they can't fix Scott. He's living on borrowed time and has been for years. Each and every day he has is a gift. A gift that should not needlessly be squandered laying in the hospital. A gift that should be spent doing what he wants to do, spending time with his daughter, sleeping in his own home, eating as many Christmas cookies as he wants and snuggling with Becky the cat.

I'm searching for the patience I'm going to need to get through this. The insight to be sure I'm making the right choice and some strength to push through.
When he needs to be there, I'm the biggest supporter. But this time... I'm not so sure.



** disclaimer - please don't read this as anti Rush post. I'm not anti Rush. Scott has some terrific doctors and nurses there. My objectives are different from theirs and I always have to do what I feel is the right thing for my family in every given moment. I still pink puffy heart Rush and we'll continue to make that our go-to hospital for Scott's vascular issues.**

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1000 Words

A frustrating day of getting nowhere is better remembered and celebrated with memories of our wonderful visitors. BigDan, Missy, Lorraine, Christian, Mom, Dad, and our most perfectly delightful, well mannered, precocious daughter.








I'm even still enjoying the Au Bon Pain.

I wish I had met all of our hospital family in other places, doing other things, in better times, but I sure do love them all even if they are friendship born from troubling times.

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Rush...again

Christmas photos keep getting put off. Poor Christmas.
Scott is once again a patient at Rush. I'm mobile blogging from there now.
We met with Dr. Jacobs and discussed the issues at hand. He agreed that infectious diseases should be brought on board and thought we should probably do it at Rush (but was supportive of whatever
we chose to do). Scott and I left Dr. Jacobs office and headed over to ID (infectious diseases) to schedule an appointment. We got lucky and the fit us in right away.
Dr. Smith is a straight talking, no nonsense, attack the problem kind of doctor. Yes, I love her.
She looked over Scott's wounds and said "we need to admit you.". An hour later Scott was upstairs on 8S. Were missing our old stomping grounds on 8N. Can't say I miss SICU but I sure do miss our nurse (and doctor) friends there.
So far, so good. Lots of test scheduled to get to the root of the problems and figure out the best course of action for treatment. They've already started anti-biotics so were on our way. I've already been asked 4 times if I'm in the medical field. Makes me laugh every time.
Feeling hopeful that this will be a quick stay. Dr. Smith did say that there's a chance he'll be home for the new year.
Time to go. I'll keep everyone posted on the major developments. I'm snapping photos too because you all know I make everything a photo opportunity.

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In the know

We know people. We know good people that will answer their phones at 4pm on a Friday, drive an hour from the city on a Saturday, in between a birthday party and symphony tickets, to give us their wisdom, experience, guidance, love and banana bread. We couldn't be any luckier.

Scott's GP (general physician), Dr. K, called late Friday afternoon. It turns out that one of the tests she did for Scott last week came back with some alarming results. Dr. K and I discussed things, she armed me with information and said, "let me know what you want to do."
I did the only thing I knew to do on a Friday evening (seriously why does this crap happen late on a Friday every time.) I called BigDan and Kathy. This problem is their area of expertise. They came running.
What amazing, wonderful people. We can't thank them enough. The two loafs of Kathy's famous banana bread were just the icing on the cake.

As for Scott, we're feeling pretty confident he has a bone infection, osteomyelitis. For right now Scott will stay on his oral antibiotic (it seems to keep the symptoms at bay even if it probably isn't helping the infection) and we'll be taking him in for a bone scan so we can decide what to do next.

Osteomyelitis, has always been something on my watch list. It's fairly common in people like Scott, heck even Christopher Reeves had it. This is a difficult setback but I'm fairly confident that I'll get my wish to get through Christmas. That's all I ask, I just want my Christmas morning then, well... bring it on if you must, I'll kick your ass after the holiday.

Scott is feeling pretty well and we'll keep doing what we're doing. BigDan and Kathy assured me that I'm doing a terrific job at taking care of the wounds so I feel confident that we can manage at home for now.

BigDan and Kathy, thank you. Thank you for loving us, taking care of us and always answering your phone. We're so blessed to have you both in our lives.

Headed to Best Buy with my best girl to pick up the last few gifts. Then tonight, a trip to Mark and Jay'me's for some gingerbread decorating for the kids. It's 6 days away people, let's rally.

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It's Raining, It's Pouring

The old man needs to shut the hell up.

While I was driving for the first time today since the accident, I could feel the sunshine on my face. It was warm, welcoming and I tried to let it refill my soul. Slowly seeping into my pores, working it's warmth into my heart. I'm not healed yet from the drama of this week, far from it actually, but I'm trying.
I'm trying to find the positives in all of this.
Like today, when I heard that my baby brother Justin was in the hospital, I immediately said "what the fuck". Mom and I dropped Kate off at school, picked up my rental car (a story on it's own) and headed to the same hospital where Kate and I were just taken on Tuesday.
Got there in time to hear that while he will require surgery it's a typical ailment, and the surgery can be postponed for a more suitable time. Fantastic news. I tried to look around and find the humor in the situation. It kind of helped that my baby brother, he's almost 25, looked hysterical in his pediatric hospital room.

You see my baby brother hasn't been my 'little' brother since he was in the 5th grade. At 6'5'' he's anything but little.

There he was hanging over the gurney in this beautiful peds room with butterflies, trees and clouds on the walls.
The picture, as you can see was quite comical.

My pain is getting better. I only wanted to vomit from the pain twice today as compared to about 10 times yesterday so I would say I'm on the mend. Kate physically is fine. She had some nightmares last night and talks about the car crashing a lot. While driving tonight, a car pulled up beside us and she asked me "he not going to crash into us and hurt this car is he Mommy?". It breaks my heart. She'll be fine, I know, I just hate that she even has to think about these things. Poor little girl already has such big stress and emotion in her little world.

Scott's still the same. Our appointments next week will hopefully shine some light on his problems.

I'm looking forward to the weekend. I'm going to try and do everything I can to put this miserable week behind me completely. I'm already moving forward. Making dinner and baking these is just the tip of the iceberg. Looking forward to Sunday and our 4th Annual Pumpkin Patch Slaughter with some of our great friends.

I'm putting in my earplugs so I can't hear that stupid old man snoring. It's not going to rain on this parade any longer.

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10-4 Over and Out

Frustrated is not a strong enough word for today's emotion. Such is life.

Apparently, I know very little. Everything I thought previously is wrong. I'm an idiot.

Here's the facts
Scott spoke to our primary doctor. She reports that MRI/MRA is clear. It shows the fluid filled cyst that Scott has had forever but beyond that and the MS lesions the scan is normal.
Cysts and lesions being normal. Does anyone else think that that's funny?
Um, yeah sure, then why can't he hear? Why is it getting worse? And why does he have ringing in his ears now? Yep, there is nothing wrong with him, nope peachy keen.
We'll be following up with the ENT specialist. Something is going on. I guess I just have to work harder to get answers. Why should anything ever be easy?

I don't have the strength to get into the accident situation right now. I must remember that anything that goes on the internet can always be found and used against you. So if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
I will say, our insurance company has been great thus far. Everything else... um... yeah.. fuck off.

Brandi - out.

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Ouch

Everyone was right, it hurts worse the next day.
So glad my parents were here to help ease the physical burdens. And really thankful that Mom played chauffeur for me all day. I can hardly move at this point. As I told Scott tonight "I have bruises on body parts that I didn't know existed."

We had Scott's MRI/MRA. It took an hour longer than expected, they needed additional scans. That's never what you want to hear but he's home so that's all that matters. Expecting the initial results tomorrow.

Went to get a few things from our car today. Being the picture taker that I am I took these.

The fireman were so nice and put the rear under carriage and the front fender in the back seat. Super awesome.
You know what is super awesome, for real? That car seat you see. Sure it's got cute butterflies but that car seat is why Kate is still here and why she has minimal physical injury. The fire Marshall told me that had I not had one of the best seats money can buy properly installed and had Kate sitting in it properly she would have gotten tossed and would either have serious injury or ... I can't even imagine. Thank you butterflies.

Airbags hurt. Seriously. Glad I had it, but my arm is tore up and the one spot on my head that hit it is bruised. Thanks airbag. Seriously, I love you.

I didn't get pictures of the rear end, under carriage damage. It hurt too much to get that low and take photos. It hurt so much that I didn't even take my photo for the other blog today. A first for me.

This is the cervical collar they put on Kate in the ambulance when they strapped her down. I'm glad I brought it home. It's sparked a few conversations with Kate that have allowed me to see that she's got no permanent emotional damage from the event.

The last time K and I had matching hospital wrist bands it was the day she was born. That event was much better than this one. But both times I brought home with me the most beautiful little girl. While seeing this makes me sad it also makes me feel immense gratitude.

This little face, scratches and all, is safe at home where she belongs.

There is nothing more precious or perfect than that.

*note, the scratch on Kate's forehead is from playing on Sunday. The scratch on her shoulder/neck area is from the accident. She has those marks on both sides and some bruising on her sternum.

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FML

For those of you that don't text, instant message, Facebook or have access to a teenager FML means Fuck My Life.

This is going to be brief, I'll give a full play by play when I'm feeling up to it. Wanted to come here to share all the info as I know family flocks here in times of WWW troubles.
Scott is still the same. He spent the day in bed. Kate went and played with Grandma and I took the train out of Barrington to play at the office and take some city pictures.
We all had a great day until after I picked up Kate. While headed home Kate and I were in a pretty serious car accident. I hit the car in from of us and the car behind me read ended us.
My car is totaled. Kate and I were both strapped down and taken to the emergency room via ambulance. Kate was an absolute angel. She was cleared pretty quickly and discharged with abrasions to her neck and chest from her car seat. It took a little longer to get me released. X-rays and lots of time on the back board before I was finally discharged with whiplash and abrasions. The air bag deployed into my arm and let me tell you, those things freaking hurt.

We're fine. Very, very sore but fine.
We brought home Kate's cervical collar so I could use it to talk to her about what happened. She promptly went into Scott's room gave it to him and said that it would help fix his "owie leg".
I'm so glad my sweet baby girl is snuggled into her own bed and I'm just right down the hall.
My mom will be with us for the night and probably most of tomorrow.

More when I feel up to it.
For tonight, I'm just going to be glad that were all home. As my Grams said tonight, maybe this is the only bit of bad luck we'll have this week and Scott's scan tomorrow will go great. Crossing my fingers and toes.

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Version 10.0

I've started about 10 different posts today and I can get any of them to say the things I want to say. I've decided that I'm just going to report the news for today. My thoughts are to scrambled and my heart is to twisted to say anything that might be partially constructive.

After many phone calls and much doin', Scott has his MRI-MRA of his brain scheduled for Wednesday. We'll be doing the test out in the 'burbs to keep the transport to a minimum. It's also because if there is something wrong with Scott's brain (other than the obvious- heehee) Scott will be referred to a neurosurgeon. Anything above the jawline is basically out of the realm for Dr. Jacobs. Dr. Jacobs will, of course, be consulting on everything if needed and any neurosurgeon we would see would be down at Rush.
I'm just hoping nothing is needed. Scott is an odd dude and strange things like this happen.

I guess we'll know more on Wednesday or Thursday. More waiting. I'm so good at it... or not.

I'm going to go look at the prairie grass pictures I had post today. I actually took them Friday and had them scheduled to post at noon today to act as a pick me up for what I thought would probably be a trying Monday. Prairie grass and blue skies make me happy.

What makes you happy?

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Dodged a Bullet

Did you know that once upon a time, in a far away land called Iowa, my dad had a bullet bounce off his chest?

True story.

If I recall the story correctly (please correct me if I don't, Dad) my dad was working as an electrician. He was taking his lunch outside in his car in an alley. While sitting there enjoying his break, he heard a noise and suddenly the windshield was broken and he felt something hit his chest. Looking down, he realized it was a bullet. My dad wasn't hurt in anyway. I'm pretty sure he went back to work when his break was over.
My dad, Superman.

Scott and I are feeling a little like we dodged a bullet today. Not a literal bullet, like my dad's but a figurative one.
I took Scott to see his primary care doctor yesterday for some issues. She took one look at him, listened to his symptoms and told us we could wait for blood work to come back but she expected to admit him to the hospital for possible renal failure.
We left her office yesterday late morning and Scott began forcing fluids as much as possible, in attempts to re-start his system. I started cleaning, making sure all the bills and laundry were caught up and we both wanted to spend lots of time with Kate.
A family dinner was in order (delicious Kathy pesto - thanks Kath). Some play time and extra snuggles.

Got the call this morning that the blood work looked much better than expected. There isn't a simple answer to Scott's symptoms. But, for right now, he gets to stay home and be with his KatieBell. I'm watching him very closely. Much closer than even he realizes. I'm ready for anything he can throw at me but of course I'm hoping its a simple case of prolonged dehydration and protein deficiency.

We know that all his symptoms could be from an aneurysm. It's the white elephant in the room. We don't talk about it directly, but we're both thinking about the similarities to his previous arterial ruptures.

A little glitch in the road, a speed bump really. Didn't slow us down. Once we got word he was going to stay home, life returned to normal.
Kate and I made these. Blueberry Cinnamon Rolls. You MUST make them now! Do not delay. They are amazing. They have gotten rave reviews from most of the important men in my life.

We'll be pumping the weekend full of life.
Thanks for the reminder world. I heard you, loud and clear.

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So What Did You Do Today?

Gee guys, thanks for asking.
I'll share with you.


Today I made these fabulous cookies.

My "friend" Vanessa over at More is More Mom posted them yesterday and I HAD to have them. Like immediately, had to have them.
I gathered my ingredients and started right away. Through an unfortunate accident with an egg and a moving Kitchen Aid mixer I needed to remake the butter sugar mixture.
I realized that I no longer had enough brown sugar to complete my dough. Since this is dough that needs to refrigerate over night my epic fail in the kitchen meant I was going to have to wait until Saturday for a cookie.
Um... hell no! That wasn't happening. A quick Google search and I made my own brown sugar. Yep, that's me culinary genius. Or well, maybe not.

Fast forward to this afternoon and this is a terrible picture from the crime scene.

All is right again in the world.

Scott had his last therapy day today. He's not graduating because he's doing so great, he's leaving because insurance companies are blood sucking, big business, only care about themselves, assholes. I wish I could properly express my true feelings on the subject.

As with most days, I found some inspiration in some beautiful yellow aster that was growing wild in the ditches. So I played for a little bit while K was in school.

Looks like a painting doesn't it. This photo was taken directly out of my camera. There has been no editing at all.

While I'm talking photos, S12 posted a fantastic shot this evening. He even gave this little blog a shout out. So head over to the other blog and leave S12 a comment. Tell him he's great but I'm still your favorite.
I've got to somehow come up with something to follow that photo. I'm hoping the parade and carnival we're going to tomorrow give me some inspiration.

And again, if it's not to much to ask. Send a little love to "Grandma" Alice. Kate and I visited her along with my parents and Bonnie this evening. While things were looking up while we were there, as the night wore on she started getting worse. At 92 that woman is one hell of a fighter. It's that tough Brooklyn spirit.

Sleepy times for Brandi.

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Fail

Epic fail.

Decided, against my better judgement, to take Scott and Kate and go to Palatine's StreetFest. We've done StreetFest every year since Palatine started doing it. Back in the day, we would be there several times over the three day fest. Seeing as how summer is coming to an end quickly we wanted to make one more family festival outing.

So, today in the scorching 92 degree heat, I packed up two of my favorite people, a backpack full of water, ice packs, a clip on umbrella for Scott's wheelchair, sunblock and sunglasses. Leaving early to beat some of the heat we headed to my parents house to pick them up along with Justin and Kara.

Once we arrived at the fest things didn't go well. There were tears, a near fainting and nobody came home with their face painted. Surprisingly it was Kate that had the most trouble with the heat.
We scoped out a nice place in the shade pretty quick and left Mini-me and Scott there while the more able bodied adults retrieved some tasty morsels.

Part way through Kate's pizza she became very lethargic. Her eyes were rolling back in her head and she became unresponsive. Kara and I were sitting on either side of her and noticed her behavior change right away.

I grabbed her and immediately felt that she wasn't sweating. Lack of sweating in heat like today's is a sure sign that she's not doing well. Once on my lap I forced water down her throat, put an ice cold water bottle on the small of her back and started asking her questions. She couldn't or wouldn't tell me her name, she didn't say a word as a matter of fact. We got a straw in her water and kept forcing fluids until her eyes refocused, her color came back and she gave me her shy, sheepish grin and said "my name Kaferin Tamawa Witt".
I knew she was out of the woods when she started complaining about the ice cold bottle of water pressed up against her naked back.

Scott did slightly better. By slightly I mean his eyes didn't roll back into his head and he managed to keep sweating. We know Scott doesn't handle heat well so we had him covered in ice packs early on and we kept his chest and neck in the shade with his handy clip on umbrella. I'm sure if we hadn't taken those precautions with Scott early on I would be sitting in the ER right now writing a different story.

Everyone is home safe and napping now. Thank God.

The rough afternoon means we're going to have to miss a friends wedding this evening but I know they'll understand.

Hopefully, everyone is out enjoying this day and being safe. Even prepared for the weather this heat is dangerous.

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I Need Your Help

Mobile Blogging - spelling disclaimer applies

I usually reserve begging you all for your thoughts, prayers, happy thoughts and crossed fingers for when Scott is sick.
This will be the one exception to that rule.
I'm on my knees begging. We have a house showing tonight from 530-630. I need so desperatly to sell this house I can't even begin to describe it.
For those of you that don't know our house went on the market literally 2 weeks before the market collapsed and it's been there ever since.
This house is huge and way, way more than we need. Everyday is a struggle for me to keep up with the 4 bathrooms, 5 bedrooms not to mention the almost 1 acre of land that comes with it.
So, please, please send some of that magic love this way. I HAVE to get out of this house before it kills me.
And I should add, I LOVE this house. I built it and I've painted every wall in the 4300square feet. This house is my blood, sweat and tears. Its the house we brought Kate home too. We have so many happy memories here and I'll miss it terribly. But, as I said its eating me alive.
Some love please!

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An Update of Sorts

Found out late last night that apparently our werewitty2-yahoo account has some virus or has been hacked or some such computer shit.
Worked on figuring it out for a some time last night and was unsuccessful.
So, if we have your email and you're getting spam from that account, we apologize. Just make sure you don't open anything unless you're positive it is coming from Scott or I.

Any chance anyone knows anything about this sort of thing? The idea of spending hours on the phone with yahoo and or our service provider makes me twitch.

The email linked with the blog is safe and has not been corrupted (to the best of my knowledge). Feel free to use that email for now (werewitty@gmail.com).

Sorry again to anyone who got SPAM'd.

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In other news, all my ramblings about my Grams being fabulous and sending me the vanilla must have worked. She was released yesterday from the hospital in Houston and was safely home last night. Considering they told her release would be Thursday maybe even Friday, I think being home by Wednesday is AWESOME.
In all of Scott's hospitalizations we've never beaten a release date. I wasn't sure that type of thing was possible.
So thanks to all of you that read my craziness and had a positive thought for my Grams. It worked.
They even made it home before Hurricane Alex really got rolling. Thank goodness.

Well, there is a certain curly haired little girl that is up already (please pray for me). See you on the flip side.

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Dear Waiting,

I'm sorry Waiting but you and I just don't see eye to eye anymore. I used to find you refreshing every once in awhile.
Like on my 12th birthday, waiting for my little gaggle of girlfriends to come over and roller skate with me in my parents basement, that was fun.
Or before Kate was born. Waiting, you really out did yourself then. We had parties and games. I got to do tons of shopping (my favorite source of therapy) and make lots of plans. That was phenomenal. I think that was when our relationship hit it's peak.

But now Waiting, we're just not in sync. It's not you, it's me. I'm busy, I'm passionate, I'm a little high-strung. Having to be passive just doesn't work for me anymore.

So, I'm sorry Waiting but you and I simply have to break-up. It's going to be tough getting over you but I'll manage somehow. Please don't hate me.

Sincerely,
Impatient Brandi

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Scott's MRI which turned out to be a CT-scan went off without a hitch but we don't have the result as of yet.
Dr. Jacobs was stuck at a neighboring hospital for an emergency and canceled his days appointments at Rush. Rather than sit around the hospital waiting for his return like the deranged stalkers that we are, we opted to come home and wait for his call like normal people.

We're beginning to feel like we won't hear anything until morning. Which, honestly, has Scott and I both a little on edge. We're both sure that things are fine but we get so ramped up to hear the news immediately that to now go overnight without the reassurance we crave is a little unsettling.

You'll hear from me again, when I know something. Thanks again for the calls, texts, emails, and comments with well wishes. We love them and can't get enough of them. Send more, send more.

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Why in the world do I always forget the second "n" in beginning? Every freaking time. I know how to spell it and say it correctly in my head while I'm typing but for some strange reason I have a freaky aversion to typing it correctly.

Beginning, beginning, beginning, beginning, beginning....

Please tell me I'm not the only one with a quirk like this?
Anyone... Bueller? Bueller?

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"What the hell is wrong with Scott?"

Well, that's a very good question.

Scott has a genetic disease /disorder called Ehlers Danlos Vascular type (VEDS) previously refered to as type IV EDS.

Here are a couple good links with lots of super medical mumbo jumbo

http://www.edstoday.org/info/types/vascular.htm#Links"

http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition=ehlersdanlossyndrome

In a nutshell. Scott's DNA, specifically COL3A1 is mutated (Scott's is a G when it's supposed to be an A). His body doesn't produce the correct amount of collegen. Collegen is what holds your body together. Most EDS patients have problems with their joints, and thin skin and then there are VEDS patients like Scott.
Here's some good information on COL3A1 http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/gene=col3a1

Scott's problems are in his vascular system. The lack of collogen makes Scott's arteries weak. This weakness causes aneurysms, and AVM's (Arterio-Venous Malformations). His arteries are very soft, we've heard doctors refer to stitching Scott up is like trying to stitch Jello. Take a moment and picture taking a needle and thread and pulling in through Jello without causing it to split. So not easy. On one of Scott's recent surgeries Dr. Jacobs described his femerol artery as piece of wet tissue paper.
VEDS is the only fatal type of EDS. There is no known cure and the only thing you can do is manage the "fallout" from an event. Which is why the best vascular surgeon at RUSH (in my opinion - and lets face it my opinion is the only one that counts) is on my speed dial.

At any given moment Scott has numerous aneurysms in his body. Most of the time we don't know they are there until they rear their ugly little heads in the form of a rupture or bleed.
We currently know of several aneurysms that Scott has existing in different parts of his body, the most serious of these is in the hepatic artery. This is the only blood supply for the liver. Should this friendly little guy decide to cause trouble it would mean serious business and in all reality probably death.

So if you see Scott please be sure to not look in the general direction of the hepatic artery and for God's sake if you do make sure you talk slow and gently to it.
Please do not provoke the hepatic artery. Thank you for your consideration.

History -
Scott has had 6 aneurysms rupture making life very complicated.
What we now know was the first aneurysm was in Scott's right leg in Feb 2000. The doctors incorrectly diagnosed the rupture as compartment syndrome and performed a faciotomy.
Number 2 - The second aneurysm was in his left leg. This was when he was first clinically diagnosed with VEDS December 24, 2002, a short three months after our first date (and yes it was Christmas eve - my hubby has always been the best gift giver). Scott had his first angiogram the day after Christmas 2002 and his genetic study was completed with a VEDS diagnosis in March of 2003. The treatment of this as well as the diagnosis was done at Advocated Luthern General.
Number 3 - Fast forward to 2004, Scott had an aneurysm in his ulnar artery in his left arm. The vascular surgeons at Luthern General were terrified by Scott and kicked us to the curb telling us to go seek help at RUSH.
Best thing that could have ever happened. We found our miracle worker; Dr. Chad Jacobs.
No intervention was necessary with that aneurysm it resolved itself and occluded(closed off) the ulnar artery.
Number four - (bored yet?) Number four was a biggie. Scott's splenic artery ruptured. This was the 90day stay at RUSH from May 13 - Aug 13 2008. I blogged about stuff at that time. If you've got several hours you can read it here www.livejournal.com user name katesdaddy.
This stay was a huge wake up call. Scott spent much of this time very close to death. He was intubated with a ventilator breathing for him for long periods of time. He had days where he would have procedure after procedure. We chased and chased, fix one problem, develop another. Dr. Jacobs was nothing short of phenomenal. But in the end it was Scott's body that did the real work. Dr. Jacobs just gave him the time he needed to recover.
Numbers 5 and 6 - during the '08 stay at RUSH Scott developed radial aneuyrsms in both arms. Dr. Jacobs performed surgery on both and tied off the radial artery in both of Scott's arms. If you're keeping track in Scott's left arm he has lost 2 of the 3 sources of blood supply.
And then lucky number 7 - that would be where this blog started.

Angiography has played a huge role in keeping Scott alive. Scott most certainly wouldn't be here with out it. But, from an emotional stand point angiograms are the hardest things for Scott and I to handle. Which leads me to ...

Family History -
We have trouble dealing with angiograms because Scott's mother (Paula) passed away from complications from an angio. Her VEDS was undiagnosed at the time, the doctors fixed what appeared to be a typical bleed resultant of a fall she took. Upon completion of the angio Paula became seriously ill and died on the operating room table while the doctors tried to fix her bleeding.
While I was never blessed enough to meet her I can't help but think of her death everytime Scott has an angio procedure. Even though Scott has had more of them than I can count, every one of them gives both Scott and I serious pause. They will never be easy, but having a fantastic team of IR's (interventional radiologists) that all know Scott inside (literally) and out makes us feel a little more at ease. Those guys truly know how fragile Scott is.

Scott's sister Tamara also had VEDS. Her's was diagnosed after years of bowel problems. She fought the disease her entire life. She passed at the age of 29 having spent the last 53 weeks of her life in the hospital.
Looking back now, the doctors did so many things incorrectly in treating her. If they knew then what we know now... She still would have passed but she may have been here a little longer and she would have had a better quality of life.
Part of what we love about Scott being a patient at RUSH is all the medical advancements that they make every day (hello Bio-Glue). So many doctors, nurses, techs etc. are able to learn from Scott. Maybe they can learn enough to cure this disease.

Knowing that VEDS is genetic we always get the question what about Kate? Kate is fine, perfectly normal. We achieved pregnancy by using every medical advancement in fertility options available,
Preimplantation testing, also called preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD), is a specialized technique that can reduce the risk of having a child with a particular genetic or chromosomal disorder. It is used to detect genetic changes in embryos that were created using assisted reproductive techniques such as in-vitro fertilization. In-vitro fertilization involves removing egg cells from a woman’s ovaries and fertilizing them with sperm cells outside the body. To perform preimplantation testing, a small number of cells are taken from these embryos and tested for certain genetic changes. Only embryos without these changes are implanted in the uterus to initiate a pregnancy.).
Kate may have been created in a petrie dish but she's perfect. Absolutely, completely perfect.

We know that Scott will leave us too soon. I know I will have to explain to Kate that her daddy is in heaven. I know I will have to find a way to move forward with my life without Scott in it.

When we first got Scott's diagnosis Scott told me I could leave, said he wouldn't blame me, wouldn't hate me, after all we'd only been together 3 months and we already knew he had MS (multiple sclerosis) (when it rains it pours around here). The answer I gave him then is the same as it is today. It doesn't matter if we're given 5 minutes, 5 days, or 50 years; my life would never be complete without having him in it.

We live in every moment, soaking it all up and feeling grateful. Facing each day with as much grace, love and fun as we can. We choose to not see everyday as the last day but to embrace each day as the gift that it truly is.

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Frustration

Tonight I'm feeling a strange combination of anger and gratitude.

Scott is doing "fine". I left to come home for dinner and bedtime with Kate. Tom and Ann were troopers and jumped in to come sit with Scott for a short while tonight to make me feel better. Thanks guys!

As my Grandma told me tonight "I picture Scott in this giant circle of hugs and love". It's so true. Scott has so many of his wonderful friends and family surrounding him with love. His doctors and nurses, many of whom have become family, rally by his side every time he tries to do something stupid.
Everyone that meets Scott loves him. His charm, his humor, his integrity, his patience, his witt, his grace. He's an amazing father and a girl couldn't ask for a better husband (I know these things). I have never meet a nicer human being on this earth.

Which brings me to the angry part. Why in the world is this man being tortured? Why can't he catch a break? Why do I look at a photo of a man wanted for murder that looks perfectly healthy while Scott fights day after day, hour after hour?

There is no reasonable answer to these questions. I'm not trying to rain on anyones parade. I certainly am grateful that he's still here fighting the good fight but for FUCKS sake. This man, my husband, deserves to be at home laughing with me as we talk about Kate's latest wild escapade. He doesn't deserve to be alone in the hospital.

I'm sorry this post is so bitchy. I just know that Scott isn't finished yet. I know there is more illness brewing on the horizon, I can smell it.

Alright, enough of the whine fest. Going to sleep in hopes of dreaming a beautiful dream where Scott is playing peek a boo with Kate. I assure you there is not a more beautiful sound on earth then the two of them laughing together.

Rant over.

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More of the Same

Just talked to Dr. Jacobs. Scott did well through surgery. They removed more blood clot but this time there was no real active bleeding.
They filled the entire cavity with Bio-Glue, coating everything. Scott's incision won't close all the way any longer. They are having to get creative in closing it.
Hoping this is the last time they have to go in. Next time it would be very difficult because of all the glue.

Scott will be in SICU for a while again. He's in room 511 which I HATE. Nothing but bad horrible, God awful experience in that room. I want him moved but being in a quad is worse so I'll just swallow my silly superstitions.

Thanks for all the love guys. You're all helping keep him safe.

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