Stream of Consciousness

The last day of August. This year has flown by at such a ridiculous pace. I'm not quite ready for fall yet. I know it's coming, Starbucks has released their Pumpkin Spice Latte. It was 93 degrees outside today and while I had a hot coffee I just couldn't bring myself to have the pumpkin just yet.
I still need more beach time. And I'm still seeing these in the front walk.

There is only two of them left but they still exist.

And these

These were just sitting waiting for me in the McDonalds drive thru.

Wow, I sound like a fab eater. Starbucks and McDonalds in the same day.

Kate looked so cute in her hand knitted sweater from her great-grandma today.
She helped me pick out my spot for my post on the other blog. I couldn't resist taking some photos of her as she sang the Itsy Bitsy Spider

Telling that adorable face no is getting harder by the second. She uses every polite word and tactic to get what she wants. First words out her mouth this morning.
"Excuse me Mommy. I love you vewy much. I miss you while I sleeping. May I please have a puppy? I name her Princess and I help her go potty."
God, help me.

I'm dreading getting up at 4:30am tomorrow. My usual time of 5:30 is awful enough but 4:30 should be outlawed. I must do my best to not lose my cool in the morning and get all three of us out the door and headed down to Rush without incident.
I'm glad that we don't have too much to report to Dr. Jacobs tomorrow. There are a few things I need to remember to update him on but Scott's leg looks good, in a shitty, ground raw meat, tendony, kind of way.

I get Hot Doug's tomorrow. Kathy is the best ever. I'm already fantasizing about the delicious brat that I will devour in approximately 60 seconds. Mmmm... get in my belly.

Must now attempt sleep.


My Side of the Street

I think everyone in the world has had a moment, or 10,000, when they look at their life in it's current state and think
"Wow, I wish I had..."
"Life would be better if..."
"Mrs. Jones has it better because..."
"Anything is better than this."

Most of the American society just isn't pleased with their station in life. We all want more. More money, more free time, more appreciation, more love, more passion, more understanding, more compassion...MORE.

I'm all about more with most things. More turkey does indeed make a better sandwich. More time doing the things that make my heart sing. More time spent in the embrace of those that I love the most.
But sometimes the "MORE" idea just isn't better.

When we're not searching for more, it seems were searching for different. Now different isn't as tricky as more, in my opinion. Different can be a hair color, hairstyle, different nail polish, different study subject, different challenge.
The problem with different comes when different is so large it
1) cannot possibly be attained
and or
2) chasing the "different" becomes such a distraction you cannot focus on what you have in the here and now.

You are probably asking yourself why I'm running at the mouth like this. Taking liberties as to what most of society is thinking. You might even be feeling like I'm acting a little "high and mighty". You're right on both accounts. I am taking liberties with society as a whole and I am acting like a moral compass. It's my blog and that's what I get to do here.
I'm not doing this to challenge anyone other than myself.

You see, this Monday brought it's usual amount of frustrations but along with those battles came a bad case of the "I want more/ I want differents". Ugh, I fucking hate those moments, those days. I want to wave a magic wand and just be happy with what I have and where I am. After all, I have a pretty good life.
I have a husband that loves me more than anything. A daughter that is the light of my life and a really great kid. A few true friends that would walk through fire for me. A roof over my head. My family is all together. And as an extra special bonus 2 Starbucks with drive-thrus only 10 minutes away.
What more could a girl ask for?

I would ask for more moments like these.

The weather clearing and cooling just enough for Scott, Kate and I to get outside and play some baseball.

No trip outside is complete now without a "race" between Scott and Kate. So glad I wasn't too distracted with my desire to have more time so I could properly maintain my landscaping.

If I was too busy thinking about how being in California would fix all of my problems, I would have missed the cute photos that our "rain delay" offered.

Good thing I wasn't consumed by my need to look "perfect" for the camera, I would have missed out on my baby girl taking this wonderful photo.

I spent entirely too much time today wishing I could have what other people have. Wishing I had a husband that could walk. A husband that I could share the burdens of life with. A family that more closely resembles that of what Kate sees on TV. I thought about how a trip to Cape Cod or California or really anywhere, would take away my woes. I thought about how if we could just sell this house all of our problems would be fixed.

The reality is, a different house, a different location, a different family unit will not cure my ills. Sure it would give me something new to obsess over, it would surely distract me for awhile from my "real" problems but it wouldn't really solve anything. At the end of the day I would still have heartache, setbacks, failures and inadequacies. It's what makes us human. And this blog is a reminder, a testament if you will, to that.
May I never forget to be grateful for all that I have. May my moments of envy be fewer and my moments of full embrace be more prevalent.
The next time I'm looking across the proverbial street thinking about how green the grass is I want to think about this post, re-read it, look at these pictures and remember that I have so much to be overwhelming grateful for. My side of the street is the best side of the street and I hope all of you see that your side of the street is just as fantastic as mine.
It may not be Barbie's Dream House but it's my house and I love it, weeds and all.



Epic fail.

Decided, against my better judgement, to take Scott and Kate and go to Palatine's StreetFest. We've done StreetFest every year since Palatine started doing it. Back in the day, we would be there several times over the three day fest. Seeing as how summer is coming to an end quickly we wanted to make one more family festival outing.

So, today in the scorching 92 degree heat, I packed up two of my favorite people, a backpack full of water, ice packs, a clip on umbrella for Scott's wheelchair, sunblock and sunglasses. Leaving early to beat some of the heat we headed to my parents house to pick them up along with Justin and Kara.

Once we arrived at the fest things didn't go well. There were tears, a near fainting and nobody came home with their face painted. Surprisingly it was Kate that had the most trouble with the heat.
We scoped out a nice place in the shade pretty quick and left Mini-me and Scott there while the more able bodied adults retrieved some tasty morsels.

Part way through Kate's pizza she became very lethargic. Her eyes were rolling back in her head and she became unresponsive. Kara and I were sitting on either side of her and noticed her behavior change right away.

I grabbed her and immediately felt that she wasn't sweating. Lack of sweating in heat like today's is a sure sign that she's not doing well. Once on my lap I forced water down her throat, put an ice cold water bottle on the small of her back and started asking her questions. She couldn't or wouldn't tell me her name, she didn't say a word as a matter of fact. We got a straw in her water and kept forcing fluids until her eyes refocused, her color came back and she gave me her shy, sheepish grin and said "my name Kaferin Tamawa Witt".
I knew she was out of the woods when she started complaining about the ice cold bottle of water pressed up against her naked back.

Scott did slightly better. By slightly I mean his eyes didn't roll back into his head and he managed to keep sweating. We know Scott doesn't handle heat well so we had him covered in ice packs early on and we kept his chest and neck in the shade with his handy clip on umbrella. I'm sure if we hadn't taken those precautions with Scott early on I would be sitting in the ER right now writing a different story.

Everyone is home safe and napping now. Thank God.

The rough afternoon means we're going to have to miss a friends wedding this evening but I know they'll understand.

Hopefully, everyone is out enjoying this day and being safe. Even prepared for the weather this heat is dangerous.


A Birthday and a Date

A very special little boy turned 3 today. Adam is officially out of the terrible 2's and into the torturous 3's.
Kate and I got to spend sometime at his birthday party today celebrating. Sadly, Scott had to stay home. Having just started yet another round of antibiotics he was feeling a little run down.

Kate wanted to wear her new shoes.

Gee I can't imagine why. She also insisted on wearing a pretty dress to Adam's party.

And so begins the clothes fight... Hold me, please.

Someone else was quite attracted to the sparkle shoes.

Don't worry Kate had barely worn them otherwise I wouldn't have let Ryan chew on them while I took a photo. I'm not that awful.

The bigger kids enjoyed the sunshine and warm weather and played in the sprinkler and slide pool.

Miraculously while we were there, there was not a single fight.

I believe there must be a rip in the fabric of the universe.

All the kids even sat nicely at the picnic table and enjoyed dinner together.

Kate and Zach were sitting on the other side of the table but the strong summer sun prevented a decent photo from showing their beautifully content faces covered in pasta sauce and the sweet drips of summer melon juice.
Cake always brings a group together. Especially a delicious Portillos chocolate cake.

Look at these two curly haired beauties. They could be siblings.

Happy Birthday Lil' A! Thanks for letting us celebrate with you. I'm sorry I have to post the below photos on your birthday but, it simply must be done.

Brogan and Josh came over on Friday night. I left Josh and Scott to enjoy their BBQ Chicken Pizza (um.. not so much) and I took Brogan and Kate to a trip to the lake (read: first date)
They laughed

They talked.

Brogan showed Katie where the frogs were.

And he was a complete gentleman.

I'm going to be in so much trouble. I'll leave you now I'm sure Scott is going to want me to get his rifle out of it's hiding spot now, so he can use it to keep the boys away.


Friends Again

In life according to Katie the only way you can see this

*the sunrise out my bedroom window at the front of the house*

and this

*the moon setting out her bedroom window at the back of the house*

at the same time is if

"The moon say he sorry to the sun. So now they can be friends."

Ah, the simple way a 3 year olds mind works.

And in case you came here looking for something else I'll give you a moon of a different kind.

The End


Full Moon

If it's not a full moon tonight, it's pretty close.

I took this around 9pm tonight out my bedroom window. I'm so glad my procrastination on putting the screen back in and taking the tri-pod down worked in my favor.
This was my first tentative steps into taking a picture of a full moon and really only my second attempt at a moon picture. All things considered I'm pretty happy with it.

I have a very, very strong feeling on full moons. Anyone in retail and or the medical community (specifically the ER) will tell you that the full moon brings out the crazies. In fact once, a long, long time ago, when I worked in the bridal industry I had a bridesmaid throw a shoe at me on a full moon. Seriously, a freaking shoe. Crazies, I tell you... it brings out the crazies.

Today was no different. Kate and I had a very interesting trip to the Bad Ass Park. Let's just say it involved a snobby nanny group, a grandpa that tried to pick Kate up (innocently) and a Mary Kay consultant. Very bizarre indeed.
Kate's nap time that was more like jungle time and by 3pm I was seriously thinking about a drink.

Fortunately, S12 and his posse, along with their neighbor Donna, her daughter Kayleigh (age 4), and Justin and Kara, all came over for dinner. Some other adults to talk to and more importantly some kids for Kate to play with really helped get things back on track.
The world was set right side up again when I tried the burgers S12 made for us all. Prosciutto, swiss cheese, grilled pineapple, bbq sauce and jalapenos. Ah-Ma-Zing!

The kids played in the front yard, where we set up the grill, in true redneck fashion.
Brandon pranced around with the umbrella using the driveway as his stage and the other kids as his stage hands.

Beautiful weather also meant that Scott could get in on the outdoor activities.
He even challenged Kate to a race.

Kate may have technically "won" but Scott is the real winner.

A beautiful way to end the day.


The Moments That Define You

So do you ever have those moments in life that seem to create definition on who you are and where you're going? Maybe it's an A on an expository literature paper, repairing a broken radio, or helping a child learn to tie a shoe.

I had two of those moments today.

I figured out that if necessary, I can remove Scott's trach cap, one handed, while slowing down to stop the car and answering Kate's questions. No sweating, no panicking, no increased heart rate. Just remove the cap and make sure Scott gets better air, while safely stopping the car in traffic. No big deal really.

My second moment was much, much more fun. It actually came during a retelling of a Kate story at tonight's dinner.
Scott and I were supposed to go to Rush to see Dr. Jacobs today so Kate went to spend the day at Grandma's. The appointment with Dr. Jacobs got canceled but we left Kate to play and enjoy the day. I used my alone time to do some fabulous things like spend hours sitting at the Social Security office and talking to our attorney. I'm pretty sure I had a better time than Kate. After all, I got a chance to really think about the most painful way to gouge out my eyeballs.
Alright, get back on track. Defining moment...

So Scott and I go and meet my parents with Kate, Justin and Kara for dinner and a kid exchange. Before we can even get in the door my mom tells me the best Kate story of all time. I've titled it

Katie, The Master Negotiator

Setting - Grandma's home office. Grandma is working on the computer and Kate is running around. Katie spies a multi-pack of Post-It's. Post-It's have been among Kate's favorite things for a long time.

Kate asks - Grammy, may I have the pink ones?
Grandma - Yes, but please don't use them all at once.
Kate - Let's make a deal. I'll just use all of them. Ok?

Grandma is too busy laughing to answer immediately so Kate goes on using the pink Post-It's.
Grandma - I'd rather you not use all of them at once.
Kate- But Grammy we had a deal.

Grandma - Kate, don't use them and stick them all over the house.
Kate - Grammy, I'm just going to go out here.

Kate exits the room and goes to the living room. Grandma follows her shortly there after and sees this.

*thanks for the cell phone picture Mom*
Grandma - Kate I asked you not to use them all.
Kate - But Grammy, we had a deal.

I can't tell you how proud I am of her. She's quite the negotiator. I have been successful in raising a smart, thoughtful, beautiful little girl that can negotiate her own best deal and knows how to make other people off balance so she can achieve her objectives. What a good girl!

And there you have it kids, the things we're proud of around the WWW. It might not be what most people are proud of but it works for us.


On Your Marks. Get Set....


This is what must be said as Kate starts off on her bike...every.single.time.

It's also what must be said when she blows the white dandelion seeds everywhere.

Everything must be a race. Even blowing bubbles.

What can I say the kid has a little bit of a competitive streak. She comes by it honestly.
The above photos were all taken this evening as we played outside. Forever extending the glorious summer evenings.
Please summer don't stop now, you're just getting good.

More sun, more time on the deck at my parents house, more love for Kate

This would be Kate's expression upon seeing a very large tarantula that Kara's future brother-in-law has as a pet.
Sorry Kate we won't be visiting him anytime soon. Mommy's shoes just aren't big enough to squish the ugly guy.

Scott's sporting a new look these days. No it's not the shorter hair. He's trying for a more fashion forward look.

What do you think?

And of course my Dad just couldn't wait to try out the new look.

Trying to see only the good in life these days. I simply canNOT get bogged down by the "noise" in our lives. Each moment moves to quickly to not find the good in it.