2011

In a few short moments 2010 will be over. I hope all of you are exactly where you want to be.

May 2011 bring all of us more time, more energy, more prosperity, more fun and more love. May our cups be overflowing.

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Where the heart is

All three Witt's are home again.
Kate and Scott spent the night playing blocks, PBSkids.org, sharing cupcakes and enjoying dinner together. Listening to them talk and share in Scott's room reinforced my decision to bring Scott home.
In the end, we left against medical advice but with no hard feelings. The doctors acknowledged our need to not spend 4 more days in the hospital and wished us well.
My grandma (you all know her as Grams) has a dear friend that is an infection disease specialist. He was at Baylor Medical Center for years prior to starting his own medical school in Botswana. I was able to speak with him this morning. He graciously took time off from his coffee and crosswords over looking the ocean to speak with me. After giving me the straight talk on what is really going on, he agreed with all of my thoughts and encouraged me to follow my heart and do the right thing for my family. Having Scott in the hospital for a problem that we cannot cure, just doesn't make sense. I'm feeling confident in the decisions made and yet I can't get the ball of jumbled emotions to leave me. It all seems to be balled up in my throat.


Tomorrow night, as we move into a new year, I'm going to snuggle up and hold hands with the future. I'm going to leave the past behind and embrace all that is ahead.
Tonight, I'm going to wallow a little bit longer.

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AMA

AMA - against medical advice

Scott waited all day yesterday to get an MRI. An MRI that was ordered about an hour after he was admitted on Tuesday. It was supposed to be 3pm then 9pm then 930pm and finally last night at 1130 we heard "not going to happen."
I wasn't there at 1130pm to hear what stupid, no-reason, lame excuse he was given. But I know he went to bed frustrated, tired and angry.

The only reason I agreed to Scott's admittance was because we were assured that it would provide us the fast track to getting answers. So far no fast track, no answers and all it's done is take Scott away from his family, create more stress than necessary, open Scott up to other potential infections and generate more fees to a hospital that has already been paid over 3.2million dollars on Scott's behalf.

As you can read, I'm beyond frustrated. For the first time ever in dealing with Rush I'm going to go downtown today and either get a MRI, answers and a treatment plan or bring Scott home, against medical advice.
I like all the doctors involved. I don't think anyone of them is neglectful in anyway. I think there have been layoffs and understaffing and it's creating major problems. At this point I could have gotten all these tests done outpatient faster and Scott would be home.
Everyone (hospital staff) is missing the fact that they can't fix Scott. He's living on borrowed time and has been for years. Each and every day he has is a gift. A gift that should not needlessly be squandered laying in the hospital. A gift that should be spent doing what he wants to do, spending time with his daughter, sleeping in his own home, eating as many Christmas cookies as he wants and snuggling with Becky the cat.

I'm searching for the patience I'm going to need to get through this. The insight to be sure I'm making the right choice and some strength to push through.
When he needs to be there, I'm the biggest supporter. But this time... I'm not so sure.



** disclaimer - please don't read this as anti Rush post. I'm not anti Rush. Scott has some terrific doctors and nurses there. My objectives are different from theirs and I always have to do what I feel is the right thing for my family in every given moment. I still pink puffy heart Rush and we'll continue to make that our go-to hospital for Scott's vascular issues.**

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1000 Words

A frustrating day of getting nowhere is better remembered and celebrated with memories of our wonderful visitors. BigDan, Missy, Lorraine, Christian, Mom, Dad, and our most perfectly delightful, well mannered, precocious daughter.








I'm even still enjoying the Au Bon Pain.

I wish I had met all of our hospital family in other places, doing other things, in better times, but I sure do love them all even if they are friendship born from troubling times.

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Rush...again

Christmas photos keep getting put off. Poor Christmas.
Scott is once again a patient at Rush. I'm mobile blogging from there now.
We met with Dr. Jacobs and discussed the issues at hand. He agreed that infectious diseases should be brought on board and thought we should probably do it at Rush (but was supportive of whatever
we chose to do). Scott and I left Dr. Jacobs office and headed over to ID (infectious diseases) to schedule an appointment. We got lucky and the fit us in right away.
Dr. Smith is a straight talking, no nonsense, attack the problem kind of doctor. Yes, I love her.
She looked over Scott's wounds and said "we need to admit you.". An hour later Scott was upstairs on 8S. Were missing our old stomping grounds on 8N. Can't say I miss SICU but I sure do miss our nurse (and doctor) friends there.
So far, so good. Lots of test scheduled to get to the root of the problems and figure out the best course of action for treatment. They've already started anti-biotics so were on our way. I've already been asked 4 times if I'm in the medical field. Makes me laugh every time.
Feeling hopeful that this will be a quick stay. Dr. Smith did say that there's a chance he'll be home for the new year.
Time to go. I'll keep everyone posted on the major developments. I'm snapping photos too because you all know I make everything a photo opportunity.

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What's your malfunction?

There comes a time in a photographers life that she (or he) simply must bite the bullet and delete some photos. My computer has been SCREAMING at me for months to delete. My parents heard it's cries (or maybe they were mine...whatever) and got me a 1TB external hard drive to move photos onto so I wouldn't have to delete too much.
While attempting to make room on my computer for the Christmas photos I somehow managed to royally mess things up. I spent the better part of nap time and a little bit of time tonight working on it.
I've got things fixed and I'm rocking again. I've got to be honest I'm so sick of computers and photos you all are going to have to wait a little longer for the Christmas footage.
This photo of Kate from Christmas morning sums up my current mood.



What? Why are we seeing it twice?

You're not seeing it twice. It's just your imagination.
Kidding, I'm testing something out. Can you tell the difference between the two photos? Does one look better than the other? If so which one.

Thanks for the help. If you want to see what else I did today the other blog has a little something from me.

Rush tomorrow. More fever for Scott tonight. Looking forward to hearing Dr. Jacobs thoughts on the situation but not expecting any real information.

Brandi.Out

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A thing of beauty



Christmas dinner with the family tonight. Nothing more wonderful than a slice of Happy Joes taco pizza served on my mother-in-laws prized Lennox Christmas china.

Doing it up Witt Family style.

Lots to share. Tons of photos... just as soon as I catch my breath.

In the mean time go check out Matt's creative genius on the other blog.
Just click here

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Merry Christmas!

Our 2010 Christmas card.

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Christmas Eve

I'm in the kitchen cooking. Kate and Grammy are dancing to Christmas music. Scott and Papa are playing Madagascar on the Wii.
A nice visit impromptu from the UpNorthAmherdts bringing joy to our hearts.


A quiet Christmas Eve at home....

makes me merry.

From our home to yours....
Merry Christmas and best wishes for a fantastic 2011.

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Confirmation

We got the results back today and I've read them myself. In radiology mumbo-jumbo they say basically what I already knew. Scott has osteomylitis. It's in his left fibula, his left femur, his left knee join and his pelvis.
Yep, pretty much fucking sucks. There are times I wish I didn't know as much as I do. This is one of those times.
We consult with Dr. Jacobs (vascular surgeon extraordinaire) on Tuesday. I don't know what he's going to say, there are no answers.

Now that I've told you all, I'm done with it for the holiday. You won't hear be talk about it again until Tuesday unless something goes awry. Scott is feeling fine and we are going to crazy this Christmas. Lots and lots of family time. Plenty of board games, card games, good food, photos and a huge helping of love.

Merry Christmas Eve Eve.

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Bone scans are cool... mmmkay

Scott's scan went relatively well, all things considered. He didn't puke, only hit his head once and didn't put himself into a drug induced coma. A successful day around these parts.


Yes, I took pictures. What of if? The tech only looked at me strangely for a moment before telling me to go right ahead.

The machine is totally open, makes no noise and the images are immediately transferred to the screen.

Unfortunately, it didn't take a rocket scientist (or trained radiologist) to tell that there were definite areas of concerns. We will get a full report tomorrow from the doctors but I left there convinced that Scott does indeed have osteomyelitis.


The scan process is pretty cool. You go in for the first run where they inject the nuclear dye and image the "areas of concerns". That takes about 30 minutes. Then you're free to roam the world, basking in your nuclear glow. Returning in two hours for the second scan. The second scan takes about an hour. They go over the "areas of concern" and they do a whole body scan.
Watching Scott slowly slide through the machine and having every bone in his body slowly build on screen until he's a perfect skeleton... hella cool!

Scott and I left the hospital with our two hour window, we get enough time in hospitals. We went around some of the neighboring towns playing Santa and delivering treats to doorsteps of some dear friends. It was a nice way to spend some holiday time. No dwelling on the possibilities for us. There is only time to embrace life and give to those that give so much to us. I wish we could have driven to the home of every person we know, leaving yummy cookies in our wake, spreading the holiday cheer.

Outside the hospital today, I took the photo I posted on the other blog
In an otherwise cloudy, gloomy day the bright sun came out to greet us as we left. We may have gotten more crappy (unconfirmed) news but the world is still a beautiful place.

Lots and lots of presents to wrap still. If you don't see me by Tuesday send help.

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The day I made 8 cookies

8 kinds of cookies... done... complete....finished.

Brandi... done...complete...no where near finished.

It's not often I toot my own horn but *toot* I rocked it today. On top of the cookies I also managed to get packages mailed, Christmas cards mailed, and all but one (f-off Best Buy) present purchased.
Dinner was homemade (by someone else but I had to answer the text asking if we wanted some). Girl child is in bed and Scott is basically set for the night.

Now it's time to move on the wrapping phase of the evening.

Wish me luck.

Tomorrow Scott has a bone scan. Turns out the bone scan is a 4 hour ordeal... who knew?... That's going to be rather interesting. Scott is going to be in a narcotics coma from trying to keep the pain at bay. Good times, good times.

Keep rocking in the free world people.

*Holy crap! I just wrote an entire blog post and spell check found nothing. This is monumental.*

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Smother it in candy and call it a day

Oh boy did we have a good time at Mark and Jay'me's for our gingerbread house making. We're still trying to come down from the sugar high. Please tell me I'm not the only one that applies the one for the house two for me program. *Anyone, anyone*
Humph, well then. Jay'me had these cute little houses all set. One for each participant.

Cute already in need of something more.

Let's dress it up. Bedazzle it.

Huh, what? No, I've never heard that my child looks exactly like me. I don't see it all. Nope, not at all.
Mini-me and her finished project.

Craig (Mark's brother in from Florida for the holiday) absolutely participated in the eat two place one game. If you zoom in you can see the icing in the corners of his mouth. I'm pulling you down with me, Craig.

Master Brogan made a pond and a fence on his house. Seriously, a pond... such ingenuity.

Sweet Maddie and her perfectly appointed home.

Maddie's brother Peyton. He was closer to 5 candies in the mouth to 1 on the house ratio. I know he didn't sleep at all that night.

The winner of our decorate this house contest.... Grandpa Stevens. Check out those details. Awesome display of candy decorating skills.

Mark serenaded us with Christmas carols while we decorated. Scott snapped photos (hence the full auto, flash exposure on these photos).

A wonderful evening.

Thankfully the snow held off until tonight.

It's going gang busters out there now.

Scotty isn't feeling so hot tonight. He's got a low fever and is generally feeling icky. Bone scan as soon as we can get it scheduled, the insurance company finally responded about 4 minutes before the scheduling office closed.
No presents are wrapped. The Christmas cards are addressed and will be mailed tomorrow. A few small things to pick up but we're almost there. 4 of the 8 cookies got made yesterday.
We're doing it up right in this house. No regrets.

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In the know

We know people. We know good people that will answer their phones at 4pm on a Friday, drive an hour from the city on a Saturday, in between a birthday party and symphony tickets, to give us their wisdom, experience, guidance, love and banana bread. We couldn't be any luckier.

Scott's GP (general physician), Dr. K, called late Friday afternoon. It turns out that one of the tests she did for Scott last week came back with some alarming results. Dr. K and I discussed things, she armed me with information and said, "let me know what you want to do."
I did the only thing I knew to do on a Friday evening (seriously why does this crap happen late on a Friday every time.) I called BigDan and Kathy. This problem is their area of expertise. They came running.
What amazing, wonderful people. We can't thank them enough. The two loafs of Kathy's famous banana bread were just the icing on the cake.

As for Scott, we're feeling pretty confident he has a bone infection, osteomyelitis. For right now Scott will stay on his oral antibiotic (it seems to keep the symptoms at bay even if it probably isn't helping the infection) and we'll be taking him in for a bone scan so we can decide what to do next.

Osteomyelitis, has always been something on my watch list. It's fairly common in people like Scott, heck even Christopher Reeves had it. This is a difficult setback but I'm fairly confident that I'll get my wish to get through Christmas. That's all I ask, I just want my Christmas morning then, well... bring it on if you must, I'll kick your ass after the holiday.

Scott is feeling pretty well and we'll keep doing what we're doing. BigDan and Kathy assured me that I'm doing a terrific job at taking care of the wounds so I feel confident that we can manage at home for now.

BigDan and Kathy, thank you. Thank you for loving us, taking care of us and always answering your phone. We're so blessed to have you both in our lives.

Headed to Best Buy with my best girl to pick up the last few gifts. Then tonight, a trip to Mark and Jay'me's for some gingerbread decorating for the kids. It's 6 days away people, let's rally.

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Backspace

I'm exhausted and can't quite get my thoughts together tonight. So rather than write a long, confusing post, I'm just going to go to bed.

It's what's best for all of us. Trust me.

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Wicked

I was here today.

I didn't see a show. Wicked is playing. Wish I could have seen it. Somehow that show (title) screams to me.

Kate played at Grandmas. She loved it. Scott stayed home in bed. He didn't love it.

We all went to bed exhausted. The end.

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A Christmas Song

Kate is big into Christmas music. She runs around singing all the songs (butchering the words). I'm not sure what we're going to do when Christmas is over and the music stops.

Spent the morning running all over. Poor Kate was stuck in her seat far longer than a 3 year old should be. She took it in stride though.

Kate - "Mama, I have a Christmas wish for you."
Me - "Oh really what is it?"
Kate - "I wish for you to kiss Santa."
Me- "You do?"
Kate - "Yeah, like in the song."
Me - "Oh, well I don't think I'll be able to kiss Santa this year honey."
Kate - "Ok, Santa kiss Daddy then."

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Giddy Up

I'm back in the saddle kids. Are you ready?
No crazy, sicko, pervs are going to keep this girl down.

It's full on holiday go time in this house.
A little tree trimming tonight. Our pour tree had about 60percent of the ornaments squished in a tiny 2'x1' section on the bottom. I bet you can guess who was responsible for that.
Kate loved all the ornaments and Scott and I enjoyed telling her some of the stories behind them.

You know it's holiday time in this house when National Lampoons Christmas Vacation has been viewed. Thanks to Mark and Jay'me for coming over and sharing in the fun.
That movie has some of the best lines of all time in it. It's my go-to movie to watch while I wrap presents. That and Home Alone.
Kate has been watching Home Alone with me. We laugh and laugh. It reminds me so much of watching the movie with my Grandpa Jake. It was his favorite. Having someone to laugh at it with again makes my heart swell. And well it makes the tears flood my eyes too.

For as long as Scott can remember the Simpson family has hosted (or co-hosted) a charity holiday party. Good food, good people and an abundance of donations for the needy and homeless. While getting to the event this year in a blizzard posed a few.. um... shall we say difficulties, it was totally worth it.
Kate and I happily shopped together. Picking out perfect gifts to fill stockings for two homeless people. It gave me a great opportunity to start teaching her about what this season really represents. Sharing with those less fortunate and spending time with family.

No family holiday preparations would be complete without some bowling.

Gather the family around.

Wear shoes that have had approximately 10,000 other feet in them.

Throw a little ball down a lane and smash things up.

It's almost as good as seeing the big man in red.

Almost...

Nothing is really better than watching your kid walk right up to Santa and understand for the first time what she's supposed to be doing.

No tears, no drama just wonderment and hope.

Kate loved sharing Santa with her friend Brandon.

She just took under her wing and showed him the ropes.

Because at 3, she's a pro.

More shopping, holiday baking, gingerbread house building and present wrapping in store. Scott is feeling better and I'm just hoping that things stay that way.

Put on the hot apple cider, light the candles, turn up the Bing Crosby. This girl is getting ready.

Oh and in case you all want to get me something for Christmas. I put my wish in a post on the other blog. Go big. That's always my motto.

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Remember

Do you all remember the post about Kate asking for a dog to chase her in the snow? Here's the link http://werewitty.blogspot.com/2010/12/good-heavens-help-me.html. Well, you'll notice if you go there now that I made some adjustments.
You see most blogs, this one included, have stats on them. Meaning I can log in and see who all is looking at the website. I can tell where someone is located, what time and date they logged in, what they looked at etc.
I can also tell, with a further search, what people type into search engines (google, yahoo etc.) to find us. In the last two days I have had some disturbing google search hits on the above referenced post. One google search from England for a "beutiful little girl" (spelling left as found) and a search for "beautiful little girl with mouth open" from the Netherlands. Both of these hits proceeded to download that particular picture of Kate.

I've known from the beginning that I would find my photos on the internet. I've known that there are lots of creepy, disgusting people in the world that would probably think about or do creepy disgusting things while looking at this blog (Hey the world is full of weirdos). I guess I am just having a hard time posting new photos right now.

I accept this as part of what can happen when you put your life out on the internet. Just like I accept that people will download my photos and try to pass them off as their own. It's just part of having things out for the world to read.
In general I love how our little blog has grown. We've got regular readers from all over the world that we've never met. People that have stumbled upon our little spot on the interwebs and found something interesting enough to stay. I think that's pretty cool. I'm just having a hard time with that particular post being so "targeted". I'll get over it and move on.

Pictures soon, I promise.

And um hey guys.... It's 10 days until Christmas and I'm so dreadfully behind I think I might barf. Does anyone know what panic attacks are like? I'm pretty sure I'm having one (or 20).

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I'm working on it

I've got a post almost ready. But it's just not feeling right tonight. I'm not able to say the things I want to say, in the way I want to say them.

A terrific, warm, wonderful, holiday filled weekend. Be patient and I'll show you.

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Lucky

"Do not look at me with pity. For it is I that should pity you."

I know what my life is. I know how to treasure the little moments. I take a breath at the beginning and end of every day. It's not the typical exasperated sigh of most. The sigh of too much laundry, too many bills, too many burdens.
It is a breath. A long, slow, satisfying, feed your soul, breath. Letting in all the good moments from the day and expelling a hopeful breath for the moments ahead.

Each day is a gift. One should not squander it. It should be cherished, embraced and loved.

I am the lucky one. The one that knows just how valuable life is. The one that appreciates a loud, ruckus dinner with family. The one that feels in her soul the love of her far away family that travels in the snow because they heard we had a tough week. The one that sees every second as a gift.
In the blink of an eye it can all get wiped away. I'm lucky that I understand that and don't take a thousand tomorrows for granted.

I'm living in the moment, even when the moments aren't exactly what I want them to be. Are you?

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Dear Santa,

Quick update....
Spoke with the doctor today about Scott. We decided to give Scott today to work on the fever situation (he woke up fever free) before doing more testing. When I spoke with BigDan tonight at 5:30 I was cautiously optimistic that we would make it through day. By 6pm Scott was running a fever.
Why oh why did I open my mouth? Someone smack me.

Oh wait, I can't count on you guys. Nothing but calls, texts, emails, and comments all telling me to buy Kate a dog. You're not helping me people.

Kate did give me reprieve today though.

She asked the big guy for an Ariel doll and not a puppy. Phew!

Lots of pictures from our play date with Nicole and Brandon at the mall. Those will have to wait, the snow blowing outside is warning me of an early morning date with my snow blower.

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Good heavens! Help me!

You see this beautiful little girl?

There used to be a picture of my daughter here. In this very space. But now it's been removed because there are skeevy disgusting people in the world that google things like "beautiful little girl" and "beautiful girl with mouth open" and then proceed to download pictures of my kid.
To the people making these inquiries... You disgust me. I realize you are probably sick in the head but seriously. My daughter is 3. Get a hooker. Look at legal woman and stop looking a photos of my daughter.

She is bringing her A game this Christmas.
The only thing she has repeatedly requested from Santa is a puppy. Specifically, a cute, cuddly, white puppy that she will name "Princess. Well really Princess Ariel but we just call her Princess."

So the other day while driving she and I have the following exchange.

Kate - "Mom, can we um... can we run in the snow? Like and not get in trouble or anything?"
Me - "Sure K, running in the snow is fun! It's harder to run in the snow than on the grass. I'll take you out and show you."
Kate - "Ok."

2 minute pause

Kate - "Mom, when Santa bring me my cuddly puppy that I name Princess. Um member, she white and cuddly and her snuggle me and lick me. When Santa bring her to me can we um.. pease, can I... may I um... Pease I go outside wif Princess and I run in the snow and Princess her chase me in the snow. Then she catch me and nibble my feets but not hard just playin'. Den we come inside and her snuggle wif me and we have hot chocolate. Dat ok Mom? Can we do dat pease?"

Took all my strength to not find the closest pet shop and buy her a dog.

If you all could form some kind of group and take turns emailing me, texting me and calling me with all the reasons we do NOT need a dog in the house I would really appreciate it. Just from now until Christmas and one reminder every couple hours should be effective. I would really appreciate it.


Scott started off rough, had a good day while I was gone (Mom and Dad stayed with Scott and Kate) and now is running a really high fever again and feeling horrible. Hmmm... me thinks I should be gone more.
Guess it's time to call the doctor again.

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The Tree

A number of years ago we started driving out to the middle of nowhere, dragging our frozen butts out into a field and cutting down our own tree. We did this over and over again. And then we got smart (and Scott got worse) and we started going to our local nursery in search of a beautiful tree.
We were on a mission.

Seek out the perfect tree not only for the Witt house but for the Pothast house as well. Each home having it's own issues.
The Pothast tree came easy. It stood there beckoning to be taken home.

The Witt tree... ah... well the Witt tree wouldn't be the Witt tree if it was easy.
We found one, we thought it was a contender.

Dad and Justin man handled it, dragging it out of the lot.

And delivering it to his royal highness (who was too sick to join the rest of us in freezing to death) where we received this....

Dang it! Back to the drawing board.
*Wander, wander, freeze a little, dance like an idiot a little*
Ah, ha. There she is. The prized tree.
Uh, oh... she's too big to drag to his royal highness, time to get creative.


The seal of approval. Thank God, now we can head inside and warm up.

Kate was the only one unfazed. She just wanted everyone to fall all over themselves for her.

There was even a round of "Ring Around The Rosie" where we all held hands and sang the song. We are but mere puppets in her little game.

Homeward bound. Tree safely tucked on top of the car. Dad and Scott tucked inside with me. Somehow between the three of us nobody remembered the tree on the roof of the car. Pulled right into the garage.... yeah.. that was nice. No real harm done but my sides sure did hurt from all the laughing.

The beautiful and glorious 9 foot frasier fir tree was happily placed in our great room. Finally a tree that wasn't dwarfed by our 22foot high ceiling.

I am a lot of things but typically, I'm no dummy. I kindly asked my family if they would mind helping me hang the lights on the tree (read: I demanded they help or I would withhold food).

Tree topper time. Kate gave it a try.

That was a fail.

I gave it a try.

Yep that was a fail.

Nothing a little twist tie couldn't fix.

Our beautiful tree is up, lit and waiting for Scott to feel better so we can put on the ornaments.

Kate and I took advantage of a quiet evening tonight and did a little holiday light photo shoot.

She loves the tree and was more than happy to take some photos in front of it. Posing nicely and smiling pretty.

Or maybe it was the bribe.

Whatever...

How are your holiday plans coming? Are the gifts all purchased and wrapped? Or are you one of those wait until the 24th kind of people?

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