18 and 10

You've been gone so long. It gets harder to remember with each passing day. I don't like this part. It hurt to remember some days, always having your voice so close to my ear. But, now...this...I have to search for your voice in my ear sometimes. You're never far when it matters. Baby Girls first day of school, every night when we talk to you, tonight when I just want to sit and cry. You're here when it counts. You always have been. My strong, reliable, never failing love. Our day is coming. 10 years.... It would have been 10 years. What would you have planned for us? How would we have celebrated that first date? The night we talked until the sun rose and our voices failed. The night I knew that I was made to love you. Your nervous Seinfeld impressions.... "I promise I'll stop now." You said I twirled my hair, my nervous habit, I guess. I didn't feel nervous. I felt certain, alive, connected. How should I honor our day? How do I say the things that can't be said anymore? Whatever I do, I promise to pay the bar tab. I won't have the distraction we did 10 years ago. 18 and 10... 18 and 10...

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