I was here then..

Six months ago tonight, .

I wrote this.

I didn't know how much time we had. The selfish part of me wishes for another thousand nights like this. But reading and remembering just how he felt in those final moments, I'm happy he's resting now. I wish I could rest to.

Tomorrow has been stalking me all week. Every quiet moment I've had I've thought about what tomorrow will feel like. What six months without him will feel like. Is it different than five months, will it somehow hurt less or God forbid will the ache be worse?

I don't know how we're going to spend the day tomorrow. I can't decide if I need to keep busy, ignoring the day or if I should just stay in bed with the covers pulled over my head and wait for the day to pass. Do we do something new, have just a typical day or do something that Scott would have loved? Whatever we do, I know he'll be nearby. Watching over us.

Amy  – (September 15, 2011 at 6:39 AM)  

Big hugs sweetie. However you decide to spend you day, you know that Scott is with you and will love you and Katie always and forever. I hope the sun shines through for you today. Even just a glimmer. love you.

Karen  – (September 15, 2011 at 10:38 AM)  

I've been anticipating this day for you for a while now and wondering what it would be like for you and Kate. I'm sure you will find some way to honor Scott on this day as you do on every other day, and hugging your beautiful daughter is one of the best ways I can think of. Sending you lots of hugs. Karen

Jamie  – (September 15, 2011 at 12:10 PM)  

I can't imagine the pain today brings you, but know that you are VERY loved. You are an amazing woman and mother, and I am blessed to call you a friend. Lots of love and hugs to you and Kate <3

Christina  – (September 15, 2011 at 12:12 PM)  

I think of you and Kate often, but I was especially thinking of you today. May today be a beautiful day of remembrance and love -- and know that we're all here supporting you as best we know how. Great big hugs and lots of love to you, dear!

Jodi  – (September 15, 2011 at 12:16 PM)  

Your strength over the last 6 months (and longer) has been and continues to be such an inspiration. I can not imagine how hard today must be for you and Kate, but please know that there are many, many people who have been touched by your family and continue to keep you in their thoughts and prayers. Sending a lot of love and smiles to you and Kate today.

Sarah  – (September 15, 2011 at 12:23 PM)  

Brandi I love you so much!!! I love reading all if your memories of times with Scott and I know you and Kate will find ways to honor those memories today. You are such an inspiration in your strengths and weaknesses, and I absolutely adore you! (hugs) for your and your sweet girl today!

Melissa Scott  – (September 15, 2011 at 1:42 PM)  

I wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and praying for you! You are very loved and a strong, amazing woman that I look up to. You've shown such strength through times of sorrow, and you are a wonderful mother. I know each passing day is just as difficult as the last, but please know that you have friends and family to support you through your times of grief and sorrow. May God be with you today, tomorrow, and always!

Lisa  – (September 15, 2011 at 2:12 PM)  

Brandi,
You are brave, strong, wonderful woman. I can only hope this day passes with ease. Snuggle up with Kate, give her extra kisses and lots of love.

"Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow"- Helen Keller.

Amy F.W.  – (September 15, 2011 at 3:46 PM)  

Scott is in our thoughts right now, as are you & Kate. I hope whatever tomorrow brings, it brings you memories. It brings you hope. It brings you a bit of peace. Either way, know that there are a ton of us out there thinking of you right now.

Barbara  – (September 15, 2011 at 5:43 PM)  

Brandi, I cannot even imagine how you are feeling, but I actually think about you and Kate often. You are an amazing woman and a wonderful mother. Lots of hugs and love for you and Kate.

Melissa  – (September 15, 2011 at 6:15 PM)  

Thinking of you. I wish that I could be there to hug you and tell you that you're going to be ok. And that you're never far from my thoughts. Love you, Brandi, and my thoughts are with you today, tomorrow, and whenever you need them.

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