Foggy

There is something beautiful about fog. Waking up in the morning and barely being able to see the house across the street. Walking down to the guest room and looking past our neighbors house and across the valley. Not being able to make out any of the houses, farmland or golf course in the distance. Everything is blanketed in a quiet softness. It's peaceful, and calm. A fortress of solitude.

Most days by 10am the cloaking fog has lifted. The sun's rays have beaten through. Slicing it's way to the earth's surface. Pushing aside the fog that fights to hang on.

Making way for blue skies, soft breezes, white fluffy clouds and a huge smiling, sun.
The fog is wonderful. The waking is beautiful. The sunshine that follows renews your spirit.

I never thought that my life and the life of fog would be so intertwined. Right now, it's probably the one thing in life that I can most relate to.

I feel like for over a year, I've been the fog. Blanketed by stress, by worry, by sadness with these amazing peaks of love, faith, happiness and pure joy. One wouldn't be possible without the other.

I'm so grateful that the past few weeks, the foggy days are fewer and the foggy moments aren't so hard to fight through.

My tears are based more and more out of love instead of sadness. I smile at things that a month ago reduced me to a puddled mess. I feel Scott everywhere. I know I'm following his wishes. I know I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

Like I told Katie today, we can't bring him home again but we can make sure when he watches us from heaven, he gives us that big, wide eyed, top lip rolled, slightly crooked smile.

I miss that smile with every fiber of my being. Thinking of it now, and even seeing some of it in Kate's smile, brings me comfort and warmth.

There is simply nothing better than being able to enjoy more of the wonderful moments that life offers. Scott enjoyed everything. So rarely would you find Scott in a grumpy mood. He just simply couldn't be bothered with it. We should all take that lesson from him.