Hang On

Scott loved "going" on the boat. Never reckless or unsafe, at least not that I saw, but there was just something about moving fast on the water that filled his soul.

So when we went out to spread his ashes, we did just that. We hauled ass. Letting the wind bite our cheeks and the spray fly. The perfect cloudy, hazy, overcast, slightly cool day, Scott's version of heaven on the water. Exactly what he wanted.

I'm glad I had his "boys" with. They know that lake as well as Scott did. Finding the absolute perfect spot for Scott to rest. Right off Pier 200, over a sand bar, rocky area, where Scott pulled in fish after fish, year after year.
I wouldn't have known where to go. Being on the lake was Scott's domain. It was the only time in our relationship that I didn't organize, orchestrate and accomplish our goals. On the boat, I sat in the passenger seat and Scott did the rest. I loved watching him in his element. The happy, content, peaceful look that always washed over his face. That face will always be my fondest memory of Scott from our pre-Katie days.

The dynamic of the group has changed. There is a hole in the fabric. A hole that will never be filled. But the love is still there.

It's written all over their faces. Having these men hold me up over the past three months... If I wasn't sure of all the reasons Scott loved them before, I certainly am now.

Scott is resting in heaven. The final piece of his physical being has been given back to the earth. Now and forever, he lives on in our hearts, minds, souls and in the eyes of his daughter. Missing him is easy, but so is knowing he's finally at peace.