Mothers Day 2011

Let's face it, we all have needed mothers at least once in our lives. They are the givers of life. Giving birth is not the only way to become a mother though. You can be a mom just by loving and caring for a child (or adult that acts like a child).
My mom has "mothered" many a child. Anyone of my high school friends will tell you there was no escaping "Sherri". She was there with praise but she was also there to discipline you. It really kept me out of trouble. I would always say "if Sherri hears that she'll kick all our asses". Everyone would agree and we would find something more suitable to do with out time. It served us well. I am forever grateful for my mom, for many, many things.

Kate and I have had a great past couple days. We spent Kate's birthday doing what we've done every year since her first birthday, we went to Main Beach. Being by the lake, thinking about past years, brought both comfort and heartache. I guess it's like everything else.

I took many of the same pictures that I have in years past. Well, except they are all missing Scott's proud, warm, loving smile. But I think Kate's eyes shine a little brighter this year. I'll show them to you soon.
Wanting to add to the tradition Kate and I went down the street to the ice cream store. A chocolate and vanilla ice cream cone later and we were pretty happy campers. The rain stayed away just long enough for Kate and I to enjoy being outside.
Seeing my baby girl on her new big girl bike that she got as a gift from my BFF (best friend forever) really showed me how much she's grown. She took to it immediately. I predict the training wheels will be off by the end of summer.

She just didn't get the concept of "going to Disney". Went right over her head. She's starting to get it now but I don't think she'll really get it until we're standing in front of the castle looking up. Then I think she'll freak out.

I ran away yesterday. Taking some time to go to my happy place. I needed to get my head in a good space, or try to at least. This past week with Kate's birthday and now mother's day has been a real test of my sanity. All week long, I've been twenty steps behind and I just don't care. I have planned next to nothing for our trip, I'm not packed, I don't have my to-do list done (hell, I don't have one started) and I'm pretty sure I will forget half of what I need once we get to Disney.

Nothing else really matters to me right now. I just want to take care of my baby girl and do the few things that make me happy. I guess it's just all part of this grieving process. It's just plain sucky. As I sat in my bed Thursday night sobbing that "nobody else knew Kate's story" it dawned on me that maybe I need to take that grief and turn it into something. I needed to stop sobbing and start writing. I needed to do something I haven't done before and write the story of Kate's birth down. I needed to "tell" Kate's story so somebody else knows it.

Writing it has been a slow process. I thought I would sit down and a few paragraphs later I would have the broad strokes out of my head and I would feel better. Well, that just didn't happen. I've been writing for three days now and I'm no where near finished. But I've finally stopped sobbing every ten minutes. I've even started laughing and smiling. I guess it's doing it's job.

That's the crazy thing, life happens. Doesn't matter if you want it to or not.

You'll do a lot better if you just jump right in.

Nat  – (May 9, 2011 at 4:28 PM)  

I never liked writing but I can see now how it is therapeutic. I hope you had a great mother's day and a great trip. Lots of hugs!

Sere  – (May 11, 2011 at 9:58 PM)  

A few days behind but I have to say that there is a reason why I call your mom, Mom P. She definately helped keep me out of trouble. Love you guys!

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