Back in the saddle again

The song that inspired the blog title.

Today seemed to be a day of returns. While I haven't felt that I've been missing out on life, there have been things that I haven't been doing. Some it has been circumstantial. Some it has been because it's been too difficult.
Tonight, I made dinner for the first time since Scott died. It was just Kate and I at home and until today the idea of making dinner for just her and I seemed stupid. I just couldn't wrap my brain around making something that she would eat one bite of and turn up her nose at.
I also couldn't figure out how to make something just for myself. I don't do leftovers and I've never really had to cook for just one person before. Making dinner was just too much.
Tonight that all changed. It felt so good to get back in action. The planning, the chopping, the stirring... felt so good.

My return to 3Chicks1Dude also happened tonight. Click here to check it out. I wasn't expecting to return tonight but it just seemed to come together organically. It felt right.

Kate and I spent the day cleaning, organizing, baking, cooking, painting, and snuggling. Bags of Scott's clothes are finding new homes. I did pick my favorite shirts to turn into a memory quilt. The idea of Scott's clothes just sitting, un-used, un-loved, just doesn't work. He gave. He gave everything. I can't stop that now.

I know that this process will continue. I know I'm not "all better". I'll never be "all better".