Gift from God

Even on my worst days I always see the amazing gifts that surround me. It's a gift from Scott.

I used to feel that my problems (work, car, life) were so much worse than other peoples. That I somehow held the award for the most suckiness on earth. Somehow my trivial, daily, problems were superior. And then I met Scott.

Long before the VEDS diagnosis, long before all the months in the hospital, and certainly years before his death, Scott taught me that most of life is perspective. When we met he had already been through so much. The loss of his mother and his sister.

The burdens of caring for his non-communicative, alcoholic father, and managing the family business. Being so young and having Multiple Sclerosis.
None of that phased Scott. He just kept right on living. Always looking at others and feeling their hardships, their pain. It was just his way.
I've talked about his ability to see the bright side here before. I'll refrain from writing that post again.

While sitting on the floor listening to Brandon and Kate play Nicole and I talked about how things were those last few weeks. She asked about my hardest days and how I was feeling. Sitting there, I didn't feel much sadness. I felt a tremendous amount of faith, love and support.
I found myself talking about how things went as well as one could hope. I had envisioned Scott's death so many times, never thinking the most profound moment of my life would be the most uneventful. I should have known that a peaceful, loving, graceful passing would be a gift that God would give to Scott. There is certainly no one more deserving.

Today when I found a beautiful vase full of fresh flowers, a gift from God, on my door step, I chuckled. Here I was having just come from a wonderful play date with a family that inspires me, I was talking on the phone with Jay'me who called "just because", I was making a healthy lunch for my beautiful daughter. There were just so many gifts.

Gifts surround you. Friends that bring dinners, even after you cancel on them last minute. Filling 20 bags of clothes with your daughter teaching her the meaning of giving to those less fortunate. Scrambling to put together a birthday brunch larger than you expected because your friends are coming in droves to celebrate your baby girl. Having lost enough weight that your husbands wedding ring actually fits on your finger which it didn't do when you purchased it. An Easter morning spent with family that loves you and doesn't ask "what's wrong" every time you choke back tears. An Easter brunch spent with family that thinks to toast to the person you're missing most.

Friends (new and old), that send pictures, notes, love, support through modern technology. For having 3,097 days being loved in the most incredible way.


A very special thank you to "my God" for the beautiful flowers. A warm, loving, welcomed reminder that I am loved.
The depths of my gratitude for all of my gifts runs deeper than I could ever imagine.