Faith



We couldn't choose a song to be our first dance. I would suggest something you would roll your eyes. You would suggest something and I would repeat for the 900th time that I was not dancing to the Allmann Brothers or the Grateful Dead.
Driving in the car was a marathon session of flipping stations and rejecting song after song. One long trip after another, everywhere we went. We sent each other messages with song ideas. Never getting anywhere.

It was a Sunday morning. I turned on the radio and was making pancakes in our tiny little kitchen in the house on Hawthorne. You were just getting out of the shower. Remember that bathroom? So tiny you could hardly move.
This song came on the radio and I stopped. I had heard it before. I knew this was it. I met you in the living room. You smiled at me and said "want to try it?". There in that tiny house that was all ours, we danced.
Your hair still barely damp. The smell of Crest on your breath. Your comfy Sunday fishing sweatshirt under my cheek.
That was it. It was perfect.

I heard this song today. I've been avoiding it. But today it found me twice. I figured the second time around I had better just give in and listen, you weren't going to give up.
I remembered that Sunday morning.
I remembered dancing to it at our wedding. In that moment surrounded by so many of the people that mattered the most to us, I only remember you. It was the only moment that entire day that my head and my heart were quiet.
I remembered all the other moments when it would come on the radio in the years following. You would always hold my hand.

I remembered and I smiled. I didn't cry. I just felt the love. The same way I always have.
Because I have faith.

mommara  – (April 21, 2011 at 9:11 PM)  

I love you guys. Love this song.

Scott  – (April 21, 2011 at 10:38 PM)  

That's a beautiful memory Brandi and I'm so glad you shared. Thank you. And I've always loved the song - now I love it a bit more.

Nat  – (April 22, 2011 at 6:12 AM)  

what a beautiful song and beautiful memory. hugs!

Baedke Family  – (April 22, 2011 at 8:09 AM)  

Beautiful song and beautiful memory!!!

Anonymous –   – (April 22, 2011 at 8:28 AM)  

thank you for sharing the story and song. i love both :)
Robyn

Barb  – (April 22, 2011 at 10:22 AM)  

Your blog touches my heart everytime I read it. But when you talk about the song came on twice so you thought you had better give in and listen because he wasn't going to give up. When my mom (you great-aunt)was going through her radiation and chemo she said she felt so alone at night and she was afraid of the cancer beating her. She said the night before her first treatment she said (talking to my stepdad who had passed) just give me a sign that you are with me. The next day on the way to her first treatment on the radio the song "Wing beneath my wings" came on. That was his favorite song. She said she knew then that spiritually he was with her. So I also believe in "signs".

Amy F.W.  – (April 23, 2011 at 5:45 AM)  

This is just one of the most beautiful songs (and beautiful posts). Hugs to you.

dkutz  – (April 26, 2011 at 10:36 AM)  

I remember the first time I heard this song (that I remember anyways) it was in an episode of Dawson's Creek and I have loved it ever since. Thank you for sharing this memory it is an amazing one!! Your blog makes me realize how lucky I am to have love from all directions in my life as you do!! Hugs to you and Kate!

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