No Fail Diet Plan

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have for you a no fail, guaranteed diet program. You will lose 50lbs in one week guaranteed.
When your child wants a quesadilla and you're just to lazy to make one and you end up in the Taco Bell drive thru for the second time in two weeks go ahead and order the super nachos supreme with heavy sour cream. Take it home and sit down at your kitchen table. Go ahead and take a few bites. I know what you're going to say "a minute on the lips a lifetime on the hips". Don't worry, with my no fail diet plan you'll be just fine.
Sit down with your Taco Bell, enjoy those bites and then open up the latest EOB (explination of benefits) from Blue Cross Blue Shield. I guarantee you'll stop eating, probably for days, and you'll go throw up everything you've eaten for the last week.
This Ladies and Gentlemen is how you lose 50lbs in one week.

*results may vary*

Holy shit! Was expecting the routine stuff we've been getting. Pathology tests, xrays, etc. Boy was I in for a surprise.
In the latest stack was a $426,240.24 bill from the hospital from Jan 6 - Jan 27. Almost $93,000 in blood product alone. This doesn't include any of the doctors, anesthesiologists, or lab work. Almost puked right there at the table. Probably would have if someone had been here to clean it up for me.

Now, it is important to say we have good medical coverage and these are not our direct expenses but... good heavens!

I'm beyond ready for this crap Monday to end. Scott had a crap day. Nothing specific wrong just still can't quite get going. He wants to work hard and is "geared up" but physically just can't quite get going. His leg still has the increased swelling which makes it achier than usual.

I'm going to spend the rest of the evening with my bestest girl trying to shake off the bad case of Mondays that I've got and then I'll fantasize about climbing in a bottle of Effin and staying there until spring. I'll have to have that fantasy while I start packing up the downstairs office so we can move it upstairs and move the furniture from one of the guest rooms downstairs for when Scott comes home.

So tell me how is everyone elses Monday? Does misery love company or can you share a happy tale of how Mondays are fantastic and you spent the day playing in the pretty white snow? Do tell....

Anonymous –   – (February 22, 2010 at 7:15 PM)  

Well, let's see... I think it was a Monday when my Dogs attacked a skunk and both got sprayed right next to the air conditioner intake, making my house instantly smell like a skunk was set afire and blown up in living room. Does that make you feel better?

Anonymous –   – (February 22, 2010 at 7:25 PM)  

My son has decided that sleep is the enemy. He has always had difficulty with napping. We spend the whole day working on trying to get one decent nap. Now that it's bedtime, he has decided to take the napping "routine" of screaming his head off crying hysterically to the evening hours as well (which is something he has never done before...bedtime has always been pretty smooth). Needless to say, I have spent the day crying, although I couldn't hear myself because of the overpowering sound of an 11 week old's screams. Not a good monday here.

Hoping for a better day tomorrow for all of us!
Jenn, Steve, and Carter

Kath  – (February 22, 2010 at 7:58 PM)  

Brandi, just go back in time to lunch today!!

Brandi  – (February 22, 2010 at 8:20 PM)  

Jay'me - I always thought your house smelled a little funny :)

Jenn - Your comment made me cry. K was like that. Do some reading on sleep regression. There is one at 3 months which is probably what youre hitting. I thought it was total BS until K kept doing it at the exact intervals they said. Hoping it gets better soon. And believe me when I tell you in a blink of an eye you won't remember these moments you'll only remember the good days, the first smile, the first solo sitting, the first food. It goes so fast. Hang in there.

Kath - suddenly I feel well and can eat again. Seriously so delicious. You're way to good to us.

Anonymous –   – (February 22, 2010 at 10:04 PM)  

Sounds as tho the Monday Blues were going around. I have had the yuckiest (is that a word) Monday in a long time. woke up to the car doors froze again, got pissed off tried to wake Brent, no luck there, more pissy so i called in. I hate to call in. Probably a good thing I did though cuz Brent ended up at the dentist his jaw is all swollen and yucky (reference the movie Mask, yep that's what it looks like). he is teaching Brandon to box and well guess who took one to the jaw, yep Brent so... oral surgeon for him.I told him someone would get hurt when he wanted to buy them gloves. Plus I called in..I hate to call in did I mention this already? Yes I beleive I did. I HATE THIS MONDAY!!!!
Here's to Tuesday and a better day for everyone!

Alli –   – (February 23, 2010 at 12:30 AM)  

Monday here: Adam no longer pees in his own bath!!! He waits until he is done with the bath and pees on the to his potty...nowhere near the "right" location...just close enough to make a mess for mommy to clean...hmmmm
FYI: While this happened to be a Monday, this could be any day of the week :-)
Here is to a better Tuesday, Witts!

Anonymous –   – (February 23, 2010 at 10:23 AM)  

HEY...........IT"S TUESDAY !!!!

Anonymous –   – (February 23, 2010 at 11:08 AM)  

At least you didn't crap your pants after the Taco Bell..... Wisdom by Mark :)

Anonymous –   – (February 23, 2010 at 4:46 PM)  

Nice Honey. Leave that to the children...
Here's a little Tuesday fun. Now that cleaning the chocolate syrup out of carpet that Maddie hid under her bed and the dog chew off the lid was almost forgotten.... I came home from my work out (yeah!) to find two dogs covered in sparkly paints that maddie left under her boot bin. Not to mention it's on the pile of laundery waiting to go in the wash and all over my tile and grout.... I do, I do, I do love my children ;0) OH HAPPY DAY.

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