True Stories From Rush - I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried

Scene -
4th floor atrium lobby ladies room

Time -
Mid-afternoon

I'm using the restroom, minding my own business when in walks a very loud lady. She's eating what appears to be a donut (I see crumbs falling to the floor) and talking on her cell phone to someone named Krystal. Apparently Krystal's "no good dog" of a husband has been finding attention somewhere other than with Krystal.
Overly loud lady walks into the handicap stall while telling Krystal that she needs to "just kick him to the curb for realz". I've seen this before people talking on the phone while in the restroom. It never ceases to amaze me but Loud Lady takes it a step further.
She's talking and eating (or I should say chomping). I'm hurriedly washing my hands to make a quick escape. The room falls silent except for the loudest most vial grunt I've ever heard. Immediately following LL says "No Girl, I here I just got to drop this while we talking." followed up with another grunt and a "Get out".
I'm not quite sure who or what she was talking to but I took it to be directed at me and high tailed it out of the bathroom.


Kids, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

** everything in quotes is a direct quote not a fabrication **

Josh  – (January 22, 2010 at 11:14 AM)  

Ummmm......I'll stick to the google adventure if I want to be grossed out...thanks Brandi. You me lunch, I just lost mine. Looking forward to seeing you guyst tomorrow. Send Scott some knuckles and a hug.

Love ya, J

Mark Stevens –   – (January 22, 2010 at 11:18 AM)  

OMG ! You thought Googled stuff was bad ! I'm sure you wanted to climb into the sterilization scrub down sink and drench yourself in suds of iodine ! Are you sure she wasn't a drag queen ? Men tell loud bathroom stories we ladies try to advoid even listening to. You poor thing .

Anonymous,
Actual, It's me Jay'me again

Anonymous –   – (January 22, 2010 at 11:47 AM)  

Pooping and eating at the same time even I have more class then that.

S4

Anonymous –   – (January 22, 2010 at 11:48 AM)  

oh..my..god...maybe telling Scott that story will get him home faster, haha.

Hopefully you won't experience anything worse!

Love,
Ellie

Anonymous –   – (January 22, 2010 at 12:27 PM)  

Brandoo... That story is right up my alley. That is fantastic!! I would have struck up a conversation with her too. Ask her what shes eating, do you wipe? Do you eat after that? then just say.. Are you serious?? Then look her straight in the eye and I want to tell her what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is. Hallelujah. Holy shit. Where's the Tylenol?

Mark

Anonymous –   – (January 22, 2010 at 12:37 PM)  

WOW, I have to go change. You may need a vitamine too after that.

Anonymous –   – (January 22, 2010 at 12:51 PM)  

hahaha that was by far the best post you've had. Hilarious :) Thank you for making my day!

Love you Scott, Brandi, and Katie

Love,
Amie

Anonymous –   – (January 22, 2010 at 1:34 PM)  

Sounds like a day in my life as a criminal defense attorney in beautiful Waukegan Illinois. Jill Gosch

Jen –   – (January 22, 2010 at 1:54 PM)  

Wow! Save those stories and we can co-author a book---that is about a day in my life---

Today I had a parent in my office whose little girl was being in her words "a cute bunny rabbit" she then hopped around yelling out "Mother F*&*&*&*"......Yes cute bunnies do that I guess. Mommy said "sweetie that is not nice language for bunnies"---the kid kept doing it but added crayons up her nose---

Wednesday night there was the lady who didn't speak English at the clinic who after having sex in her vagina it hurt to poop!! Really not a mental health issue but maybe one for health class to learn which is the peekachoo!!

Laugh and laugh harder when these things happen--and remember laughter is the best medicine! And running a ton of miles helps too!!

I wonder if she is related to my co-worker who poops while on the phone with clients at work!!!

Love Jen

Jen –   – (January 22, 2010 at 1:57 PM)  

Oh and maybe instead of bad jokes I can send stories of work or bad names I hear!!! That will get Scott home!!

Like the kid named Maybe or La-al (Ladashal for those of us who didn't know - was now part of the English language!

Anonymous –   – (January 22, 2010 at 11:14 PM)  

I don't need to Google those things, I see them at work. I would have warned you had I been keeping up with your posts.

I'm sure your mom told you I work in a hospital now. It is amazing the stuff and people you see. We could compare stories.

Yesterday - drunk guy just out of surgery (busted his foot while drunk) still drunk with post-op pain killers directly in the IV. He decides he likes waking up in a room with 5 females and thinks we want to see his package. Meanwhile, his Dr. (whom I was working with) is taking his time and completely ignoring him. Can't tell you how many times he threw off the blankets and took off his hospital gown.

Too bad IT was not very impressive. Very hard to keep from laughing for over 30 minutes with this going on. He saw me laughing once. (No place to hide in recovery.) Lucky me, he took that as encouragement. Yea!!!

Keep up the good fight. You were absolutely right to fight that Doctor. Stick to your guns.

Kris B

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