Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

I've said that to myself over and over again today. Reminding myself to continue to soak up the moments around me. Taking an extra moment as Mark and I stood outside the funeral home to feel the sun on my back. Loving arms reaching down from heaven. Not hurrying Kate this morning when she sat across the room from me refusing to get dressed only to have her throw herself onto my lap and cry for her daddy.
These moments, even the hard ones, are important. It's important for Kate to have a safe place to feel whatever she's feeling and it's important for me to live in the moment, it's the single most important thing I learned from my life with Scott.

It was such a beautiful day here, I can't help but think of who we have to thank for that. I'm not the only one thinking it either. I loved popping on to Facebook at a stoplight (only while stopped) and seeing that I had friends thinking the same thing.
Kate and I even got a moment when we can home tonight to look at the beautiful moon. I knelt there beside Kate without a jacket and felt nothing but warmth. I told Kate I could see her Daddy's smile in the moon. She's not quite sure about that just yet but we're working on the idea.

My beloved Grams got here today. Picked up from the Amtrack train while I was making arrangements for Scott's services. One of Scott's dear friends Mark was with me. There was laughing, a few stories - some of them really inappropriate (my fault) and only a few tears (also mine). I know what Scott wanted, and I'm going to give him exactly that.

Scott wanted to be remembered in death how he was in life. No fuss, no frills, no drama. Some music, some stories and lots and lots of love.
Services are going to be on Saturday evening from 4-7pm at Querhammer and Flagg funeral home. While their name makes me giggle like a 13 year old boy (yes, I'm that juvenile) all of Scott's family services have been there and they have taken such wonderful care of us. Working with Abby from there was like seeing an old dear friend. While a little sad, it certainly helps getting through things a lot easier.

I want to personally invite everyone reading this to come to the service. We're going to be sitting, playing or listening to some acoustic guitars, having hot dogs (you'll get that story later), and talking about the moments that really matter in life.
There are so many of you that have become "internet friends" to our family. It's important for you to know that with Scott and I if you were an internet friend you were family. Doesn't matter if we've never met or if you knew Scott when he was 3, I want you there and Scott would too.

I've put off my next task long enough. It's time for me to climb into bed and begin sorting through the thousands of pictures and deciding what to include in the service. Other than the photos I pass on my walls, I haven't been able to look at a picture yet.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out.