Remember that horrible, miserable, cold that Kate had? Well, she's such a kind, sweet, loving child, she shared with her mom. I officially feel miserable. Every person that has talked to me today has probably assumed I've been crying every second of the day.
I can't believe that things are well at hand for tomorrow. I've gotten so much help and support. There is next to nothing to do tomorrow. Showers, maybe a hair cut for Kate, some coffee and that's about it. It's unreal.
My house could sure use some tidying though, so I'll be working on that a bit.

A few people have asked about an "after service" gathering. There is nothing planned officially.
I think it's important for me to say out loud that my main focus in all of this is Kate's well being. Kate is a pretty structured kid. She naps at the same time every day, eats at the same time, goes to bed at the same time. This week has rocked her world. She's struggling to figure everything out right now.
Her usual bedtime is 8pm and with the service ending at 7pm I feel that she may need to just go home and unwind.
She is very much aware of what's happened. We talk about Scott quite a bit and she will randomly tell me she misses him with big tears in her eyes. I certainly don't mind if there are gatherings of friends and family to continue to honor Scott's memory. I'm just not sure that I will be in attendance to any of them. The place I'm needed most right now is with my baby girl, getting her through this and letting her know she's safe. Please, don't anyone feel like I'm disinterested in seeing them or sharing with them. That is certainly not the case. I'm just going to do what I feel is best for Kate at the end of the night.
If she's doing well and the stars align than I will certainly join in any other gatherings that are happening.

While, I wish we were all gathering to celebrate a birthday for Scott, I am glad that so many have traveled (or will travel or are currently traveling) so far to be here to memorialize Scott's life. He touched so many and sharing him with everyone keeps him with me.

Faren  – (March 18, 2011 at 8:52 PM)  

I hope you feel better very soon. You know what is best for Kate so I'm sure everyone should understand. I hope tomorrow goes as smoothly as possible. Even though we have never meet I would be there in a heart beat if I lived closer. You and Kate continue to be in my thoughts. Hugs and love from Texas.

Carolyn  – (March 18, 2011 at 10:16 PM)  

Get well soon mama. Sounds like you are doing what's best for your family. Good luck tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you.

Care from SPN (in Seattle)

Angela  – (March 19, 2011 at 3:14 AM)  

Take care of yourself and Kate, that is the most important thing. I hope you feel better soon and that things go well tomorrow. Sending lots of thoughts and prayers to you from Germany.


Jodi  – (March 19, 2011 at 5:56 AM)  

Thinking of you and Kate today. I hope that nasty cold leaves you guys soon. I think everyone knows that you are putting Kate's needs first and understands. ((hugs))

Anonymous –   – (March 19, 2011 at 10:12 AM)  

Thinking of you today. I hope the service is the celebration of Scott's life that you and he wanted. Many thoughts and prayers to you, and I hope you feel better quickly.

Heather (LittleBit on SPN)

Post a Comment